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So, I’m a little tweaked that my first night listening to Blog Talk Radio got censored. I really loved all the shows, but when the “network” guy pulled the plug on Kyra Sutra, I saw red. Apparently, he called her before her show even went on and gave her a tongue lashing. The bad kind, not the good kind. Stuff like that really, really irks me. I don’t like it when people set themselves up as the arbiters of what is offensive. As far as I am concerned, HE was offensive. I have his email addy if anyone wants to email him some REAL smut.

Now, for Monday’s luscious Marcus offering. There are so many to choose from, and he is just sooo beautiful… This is one of his younger pics. His hair’s a little longer, his face less weathered. He’s really just fantasically gorgeous. The weird thing is, I think I like him better in his 30’s. Really. The body is just as hot, but there’s something about the character of his face now that he’s in his late 30’s, that just really makes me shiver. I have a hard time separating Marcus’ face from Alaric’s personality, so here’s a little taste of Alaric Kohl as written by his creator, Opalgirl:

We pull up to the Angel of the Waters Fountain, illuminated with lights the water sparkling in the night. I get out of the carriage and take a deep breath, then turn around and place my hands at her waist, lifting my Angel to the ground. We walk slowly to the fountain and stand in front of it. I wrap my arms around Lexie and rest my chin on her head. “Alexandria? I have something I want to say to you.”

Lex steps away and faces me, “What’s wrong Alaric?” I cursed myself seeing the panic in her eyes. Even after our joining she was still so very unsure. Hopefully, this would finally put her worries to rest.

I kneel down on one knee before her and remove the box from my pocket. “Alexandria Valentine McBain, you are my Beloved. The Angel of my heart and I was so very empty and lost until you invaded my dreams and eventually my soul. Would you grant me the privilege and the honor of being my wife?” I slowly open the box and show her the ring.

Her hands cover her mouth and tears start welling in her eyes, “Oh Alaric! Are you sure this is what you want? Because you don’t have to do this. I wouldn’t ever leave you unless you asked it of me. I don’t need this to know you love me.”

I slowly stand and walk over to her, “I want you, Alexandria. All of you. And most of all, I want the world to know it. I want you to have my name, wear my ring, be my wife, and mother of my children.” I take her hand and slide the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit. “And always, always remember that I am the lucky one. Lucky that you saw the worth in me and allowed me to love you. Not the other way around.” I cup her face and wipe away her tears with my thumbs. “So? You gonna marry me or what, Angel?” I smile down at her.

She nods, “Yes, I’ll marry you. I’ll take your name, I’ll wear your ring, I’ll be your wife and the mother of your children. All of it. I want all of it too, Alaric!” I bend down, capturing her mouth in a hard kiss, pick her up, and swing her around. She breaks the kiss laughing. “I love you, put me down you big giraffe!”

I set her down laughing, “Yeah, but I’m YOUR giraffe, angel.”

Whew! I need to cool myself off after that blast from the Bar past! There are a lot hotter posts, but just imagining Marcus saying those words makes the old ticker thump harder and faster.

Two more things and I can call it quits for today. First up is pimping. I’ve been reading up about pimping out my blog. All the reading has me thinking maybe I should change the name from Life or Something Like (B)it to It’s All About the Bite or Bite Me. My little entrecard and my profile at BlogTalkRadio have the logo with “Bite Me” on it. What do you think?

Also, going hand in hand with the pimping, is that open slot on Fab’s show. I kinda, sorta, tentatively, proffered myself to him for that guest slot. I am a BTR newb. I have no clue how it works or what to do or say. But if Fab wants me, I will pimp myself over to his show and try to be scintillating and sexy. BTW, That’s a banner for Fab who is pimping himself out for a worthy cause. Please feel free to post that banner on your blog and link it to THIS March of Dimes campaign. Happy Birthday Fab! MUAH

More pimping of my blog: My rant is up over at Today’s Gripe and you will find me splashed all over Blogs We Luv on the 11th. I’m learning the pimping ways of the Blogosphere!

My last thing to cover for this post is the Marcus Awards. Next week is our second monthly recap. We are halfway to a prize winner! WOOT! I can hardly wait to tally up the Marcuses to see who is in the lead. This week’s leader was Susan with 6 Marcuses. She’s followed by Mary with 5, and Tempest with 3. Matt, Jennifer and Kaige each earned 2 Marcuses. Our 1 Marcus winners were: Darla, Harris, Laura, Nicholas, Livvy, Shiny, and Mr. Fabulous. Newcomers Nicola Pedley, Ashley Ladd, Swubird, and Wendy each got 1 Marcus too. Congrats to all! Don’t forget to come back and make meaningful comments to earn more Marcuses. And check back a week from today to see who is in the lead for a lovely gift with fangs! Happy Marcus Monday!

Sometimes, you have to give a little in order to get something. I’m not talking about dealing with co-workers or selling something. What I’m talking about is writing. Every genre has it’s problems when it comes to writing. For me, the paranormal part is easy. Making up immortal creatures, describing vampires, all pretty ’snap’ most days. Writing romance is difficult. I’m sure some writers never struggle over that part. I do, and I don’t. But mostly, I do, because I have to give something of myself in order to end up with a scene that brings tears to your eyes.

When I was in my twenties and I was writing song lyrics, Sally, my friend and guitarist, called me The Word Girl. If something didn’t fit the music, give me a few minutes and I’d tweak the lyrics so that they did. I wrote an entire novel, a contemporary romance, called Note By Note, in long hand. *shudder* Scary, huh? My friends that read it loved it! Back then, it was all about the mechanics of writing, following my plot, fleshing out the characters, picking and choosing the right words and tenses. At that point in my life, the romance part wasn’t my focus. I wrote it and it came out pretty good, but from what I remember of it (those notebooks have long since been lost), it was missing the spark that some of my more recent scribbles have.

Writing romance now means that I have to take myself mentally to an emotional place. This is a link to the story I started about McKenna and the male model - A Heart To Match. This part explains how McKenna comes to reach out to the model by posting a comment on his blog. What drives her to reach out to him is the all encompassing feeling of being alone. There’s no words of love in this part of the story, no mushy stuff. It’s about McKenna pouring her feelings into her blog post, and the model’s reaction when he reads it.

To write that piece, I had to take myself back to a time and place I don’t like to remember. But the overwhelming emotions I felt then, make it easy to explain how McKenna feels. I’ve almost literally been in her shoes. It’s a funny thing, to learn so much about yourself and how emotions work, when you realize that there is no one left in your life who loves you.

Fortunately, for me, that period of my life didn’t last too long. The PITA came along and saved me from sinking into an abyss of despair. *rolls eyes* I’m ruthless though. I use those memories as fuel for when I have to write the “mushy stuff”. Lex and Tarren from the Bar are two characters that are infused with my own personal emotion. It’s probably why I refuse to let them go, even though they’ve had their HEAs. Opalgirl is the master of feisty women characters. Me, I’m the master of broken and heartbroken characters. I have a string of them in the Bar. Lex, Tarren, Tait, Bianca, Jensen, Carlisle, Fayne… Even some of my male characters have had their hearts broken in the past: Dominic, Christian, Sebastien, Rune, St. James, and Matt.

I don’t mind giving of myself in order for my characters to come to life. When Tait sings about a man who hates her, when Jensen weeps in front of the mirror, feeling that she’s old and no man will want her, when Bianca thinks that the man she loves has betrayed her, when Carlisle lies in the snow that covers her murdered son’s grave, when Fayne feels that she’s too insignificant for the man she loves to ever notice her, and when Lex gives her own life so that the man she loves can be free of his past and have a happy future… all of those moments were brought to the reader through the auspices of my own pain and loss.

Using those feelings to fuel the words I type is better, and cheaper, than a shrink. I wonder sometimes why so many people I know take anti-anxiety or anti-depression meds. I still have times when I’m overwhelmed and depression sets in. However, overall, I’m resilient and I bounce back, if not to dewy eyed optimism at least to an acceptance of things I have no control over and can’t change. I’d like to think that even without the writing I wouldn’t need all those pills that others take. I don’t know for sure though. I have some pretty fucked up moments inside my head. I can’t see how meds could cure me of them. I mean, you’d have to rid me of my entire thought process, and for some reason, I just don’t see a lobotomy helping my writing any.

No matter how much I give of myself to my characters, there always seems to be more to call upon. I’m not quite sure why that well hasn’t dried up. It just hasn’t. I guess the bottom line is that I refuse to be lost. Instead, I keep giving of myself to fuel Lex and now McKenna. So take a gander at my newest heroine. She brought me to tears tonight so I really hope you like her and the direction I’m taking with A Heart to Match!