I’ve been pondering things lately. In my life, blogs, forums, websites, boards, work… just everywhere. Part of my pondering had to do with the things I post. I don’t really like to be predictable, which is why things like TT and HNT aren’t exactly my thing. I know they tend to draw traffic to your blog, but the reality here is… do you see any ads? Do I look like I’m whoring for traffic? Hee hee.

Now, if you have ads on your blog, don’t get all offended. That was a rather tongue in cheek remark and not meant to infer that those of you with ads on your blogs are whoring for traffic. I guess if I thought I could make enough to pay at least one bill, I’d do ads. But I sincerely think that not enough people come here to read my bullshit for it to be worth the inconvenience and disruption of my theme’s symmetry.

Anyway, I decided to do both Half Nekkid Thursday and Thursday Thirteen today. Probably because I already have a pic to use for HNT and I came up with a weird idea for TT. (If there was a theme or prompt this week – oh, well. I never follow prompts. I don’t like to be hemmed in!) At first, I was thinking of making my TT a list of all the people I thought would read my Pink Chair Diaries submission and comment. But that list bothered me. So here’s my offering for today. Enjoy!

Hey, if Fab can show his toes, and Avitable can get a purple pedicure… so can I! Personally, I think my feet look like Flintstones feet, but at least I don’t have bunions or anything gross like that.

Now, for my 14th Thursday the Thirteenth I give you, thirteen ways I can attend my company’s annual picnic without going solo.

1. I can have my kid bring two friends. One as her guest and one as mine. Oh, yeah. A teenage date at a function where I’m the chairman of the event committee. That will look good on a resume.

2. Invite a local blogger. Umn, this leaves me only a few choices really. Hilly, Jason X, Kaige… those are the only people I can think of who are fairly local for me. I wouldn’t mind taking any of them since I like them all a lot. However, I don’t know if I would have enough courage to screw up to ask. I screw up a lot of crap, but courage ain’t usually one of em.

3. Pay for Shinygal to fly out for the weekend. This one is really problematic. First, there’s the money issue and second, there’s the issue of her house closing escrow this week. However, if I knew that Avenged Sevenfold was gonna be around, hanging in some local HB club that weekend, I bet she would hock her grandma to come out here.

4. Invite the entire blogosphere via Twitter and hope that whoever has the money and inclination to take me up on my offer isn’t some really strange and fucked up person like a midget who works for the slaughterhouse or something.

5. Ask my brother to stay an extra week so he can attend. Meh. So not a good idea. I’d really rather NOT take any of my family members to this event. Not him, not any of my nieces or nephews… just no family. They know too many things about me … like my childhood nickname. It would totally undermine my position as the computer nazi in the office if that nickname got out.

6. Take my “mother-in-law” aka Rott’s mom. She’s a nice lady. She’s pretty good to me too. Slips me moohlah sometimes. I actually wouldn’t mind if she went cause she’d like playing bingo probably and she’s not colorful at all, so probably no one would remember her come Monday. However, she’s not a good driver so I wouldn’t really like to ask her to drive the 20 miles to the park from her house. And at the current price of gas, I’m so not driving to get her.

7. I could place an ad on Craigslist for a date. I’d probably get some pretty interesting takers, wouldn’t you think? “Woman needs date to cemetery company picnic.” Whoever answers the ad would probably look like Dave did in his Goth video, only scarier.

8. Place an ad on eHarmony or one of those dating sites. I really think I wouldn’t get anything but some con artist from Africa who would expect me to wire him all kinds of money to come. Then he’d just take the money and never show. Those dating sites are filled with con men. It’s really pathetic how they try to prey on women who just want a relationship. You’d think that nice looking old man who hawks eHarmony on TV would screen these fuckers better. Or maybe he’s getting a cut of the scam money…

9. Place an ad on one of the “adult” sites. I’d get the best offers here, I think. I’ve been a member of one of those sites before. Got a boyfriend from adult friendfinder years ago. Austin was hot. A little flaky, but hot. And he wasn’t bullshitting me about liking me either. Yeah, it could be interesting to show up with some hot young thing who was all over me. Heh. The only problem would be everyone wondering what happened to Rott. (Who is away, and won’t be back in time to go. Not that he ever did go to the picnic. Not his thing.)

10. Hire an escort. This one could spell lots of fun. Other than the money issue, I’d probably find this to be an excellent solution. These guys always know how to handle themselves at an event like this. The only question would be… would he expect me to handle him?

11. Pick up some random dude off the street. This was my kid’s idea. You’re shaking your head, aren’t you? My reasons for not liking this idea are directed at Motley, not the rest of you. Are you out of your fricking mind? I’d end up with some scumbag meth-head who would pick my pocket and rifle my purse! Not to mention what damage he could do at the picnic. Geez.

12. Put an ad in the local paper. Meh. All the single guys who would be looking at those ads in Orange County are either looking for a sugar mama or are rejects from Revenge of the Nerds VI or something.

13. Bring the guy who just got fired. I like him. He’s a lot of fun. I was sad to hear he got fired. Boy, would it stir the shit pot. LOL Of course, it would be a bad move on my part if I ever wanna entertain any idea of moving up the promotion ladder. God, it would be funny though.

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Happy TT, HNT, and just plain ole Thursday to all of youse guys!