Motley’s birthday is today. She is nineteen. If you go to her blog, you can see her boobs. Happy birthday, baby!
Since it’s Friday and I haven’t pimped anything in a long time, I decided I would pimp my friend Jen because she’s cool, and her rack is hot, and she’s single. So welcome to Big Pimpin’ Friday, Indiana style!
My friend Jen writes at the Bar. That’s where I met her. She’s a pretty cool lady. Very smart. Great with a snarky comeback. She lives and works in the Indianapolis area. She has a nice job, owns her own home, and has a dog… a boxer, not some pansy ass dog. There are things about Jen that no man can pass on, unless he’s gay. I mean, really, who can remain blase in the face of cheerleaders like these?
Yeah, she’s stacked pretty good. But the best part isn’t the fact that she’s got a rack that will render you mindless with lust. She’s very amusing. She makes me laugh all the time which means she ain’t boring. I, personally, do not feel that the creator of Alaric Kohl could ever be boring. However, Jen has what, to me, is a flaw. You men will not think this is a flaw. You will think she is a goddess. She likes basketball. *cringe*
Now, I played basketball in junior high and high school, but I never liked watching it. I was always more of a horse racing, auto racing, football kind of girl. Jen went to the Big Ten Tournament. On purpose. She took with her, a male friend of mine from the horse racing sim who is a Wisconsin fan. She spent four whole days living basketball, with only a short time out on Friday for her grandma’s funeral. She even turned on Sports Center when she got home! Now, that is a dedicated b-ball fan, my friends.
So now that you know that she’s into basketball, has a great rack, is smarter than a whip and can wield one on your ass with skill if that is what you like, you’re wondering what the catch is right? I think the catch is that she’s single. Men are afraid of single successful women these days. But I just don’t understand that. Someone needs to help me out here.
This woman has gone on a number of dates since I’ve known her. Men just fade away on her. They peter out and drift off like snowflakes in a high wind. Tell me what the hell this woman is missing? I mean, Hello! I don’t see anything wrong with this picture. If she sent you a pic like one of those up there, I know damn good and well, that you bloggers would have been twatting your fingers off about getting a boob shot. Wouldn’t you?
So, fill my comments with some luv, people. I wanna know why you think single, successful women with big boobs can’t find decent men. Are they all gay? Are they all chickenshit? Do they all want skinny, underfed, designer clothes wearing, air headed, calender girls? What is going on in the world today that a cute woman with a rack can’t find a relationship except with her vibrator?
Jen’s gonna kill me for pimpin’ her, but you know what? If someone can educate me regarding her – and other successful women in their 30′s – lack of male attention, then it will be worth it. Oh, and… *whispers in an aside* if you wanna talk to Jen, send me a twat or an email or YIM. I’ll set you up with her YIM. HEH. I’m just evil, aren’t I? But trust me on this, Jen sizzles. She is soooo not a prude! Okay, I better shut up now before I give her enough fuel to roast me with if she finds out I posted this. Shhhh. Don’t tell on me. She doesn’t read this blog.
Oh, yeah. She gives good presents too!
Now that my pimpin’ is done, I’m outtie. Have a great Friday, people! MUAH!
15 May
10:24 pm on May 15th, 2008
Sigh. I need to get me a job pimpin’!!
Dave2s last blog post..Angioedema
10:54 pm on May 15th, 2008
Psst, Dave. Jen’s seen YOUR blog. She doesn’t read mine… but she’s seen yours.
2:23 am on May 16th, 2008
Dave would be perfect for her. He’s only the most eligible male blogger in the blogosphere.
I LOVE strong, independent women with big boobs. Obviously
Mr. Fabulouss last blog post..Fabby’s Lessons of Love: #27
6:39 am on May 16th, 2008
Pimpin’ boobage… can’t turn that down.
Sounds like Jen is pretty nice. Someone out there will recognize that and get with her.
martymankinss last blog post..eBay – The Good, The Bad and The Cheap
6:41 am on May 16th, 2008
Fab – I kinda thought that too about Dave. BTW, you should totally be reading the User Pool. As soon as you read about Jason getting blown in the comm closet by Blendi the Unvirgin, you will be hooked!
Winters last blog post..Psst! I’m Pimpin’ Boobage…
6:42 am on May 16th, 2008
Marty – I dunno. The girl does not have good luck with guys. I’m convinced they are afraid of her!
Winters last blog post..Psst! I’m Pimpin’ Boobage…
7:07 am on May 16th, 2008
Win…dear, sweet Winter…I can’t believe that you are pimpin’ me on your blog!
I sense a singing telegram at work in your future!
MUAH!
7:08 am on May 16th, 2008
Uh oh. Can the rest of you smell that? Smells like bacon, doesn’t it? I think it’s the smell of my ass frying…
Winters last blog post..Psst! I’m Pimpin’ Boobage…
7:11 am on May 16th, 2008
*bats eyes* Who me?
9:19 am on May 16th, 2008
Nice boobage!!
turnbabys last blog post..Home
9:20 am on May 16th, 2008
Oh I forgot–HHNT!
turnbabys last blog post..Home
10:18 am on May 16th, 2008
I would totally do her.
othurmes last blog post..I refuse to…
10:44 am on May 16th, 2008
You are so dead Winter. I wish I could be there for the day you get her back Jen. Oh to be a fly on that wall.
Yes the single men of the world are chicken shit around a hot, succesful, smart, lovable, funny, and ass kicking chick. They just dont know that they can be the strong one to. If you aint a size 0 and dumb as hell and need that big strong type than they throw you aside. Piss on them, they are missing out on a great woman. One that would make them a better man.
I got lucky when I found mine. He knows that I have made him better. He has made me better. Jen will find a great guy. Plus with friends like us to pimp her out how can she not??!!
11:03 am on May 16th, 2008
Mary! My Beeyotch! I may need help to get even…you in? (Like I have to ask…LMAO
)
12:23 pm on May 16th, 2008
I get no credit? C’mon ladies! Othurme would do her and get this, Dave NEVER comments on my blog. He did today. I think that says something about the quality of the boobage and woman attached to said boobage.
Winters last blog post..Psst! I’m Pimpin’ Boobage…
12:53 pm on May 16th, 2008
*sighs* Fine… *stops singing telegram phone auditions*
1:35 pm on May 16th, 2008
Why take away my fun Winter. I was about to recommend the big white nerdy guy to sing if you want my body to you. She is just no fun Jen.
1:43 pm on May 16th, 2008
Well Mary…being at work stopped the immediate search for giraffe print sex toys…*sigh*
1:44 pm on May 16th, 2008
*perks* Giraffe? I should post the giraffe sex photo again…
Winters last blog post..Psst! I’m Pimpin’ Boobage…
1:50 pm on May 16th, 2008
Webster’s Definition of fetish:
Main Entry: fe·tish
Variant(s): also fe·tich \ˈfe-tish also ˈfē-\
Function: noun
Etymology: French & Portuguese; French fétiche, from Portuguese feitiço, from feitiço artificial, false, from Latin facticius factitious
Date: 1613
1 a: an object (as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner; broadly : a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence b: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion : prepossession c: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression
2: a rite or cult of fetish worshipers
*looks up* Check…Check…and…um…Check
4:18 pm on May 16th, 2008
having seen those in person… words cannot describe them…
winter you’re too much
4:24 pm on May 16th, 2008
OJ- NO Encouraging her…Next thing you know I’ll be on billboards with (800)DATEHER under my boobage and pic….
4:26 pm on May 16th, 2008
oooooh that’s a WONDERFUL idea!! but the phone number might be better seen if it’s posted ON the boobs… I’m just saying
4:30 pm on May 16th, 2008
*rolls eyes* Ya’ll are ganging up on me now…I see that…
9:43 pm on May 16th, 2008
Very nice.
diesels last blog post..Caption Contest: Prince Caspian
6:31 pm on May 17th, 2008
Another Jen piping in.
That is a very nice rack. And Winter, if the Redneck ever leaves me a widow (I told him the only way he’s getting out of this marriage is in a body bag) I’m TOTALLY going to you for boob pimpage.