INSERT HEADER IMAGE HERE

I’ve been pondering things lately. In my life, blogs, forums, websites, boards, work… just everywhere. Part of my pondering had to do with the things I post. I don’t really like to be predictable, which is why things like TT and HNT aren’t exactly my thing. I know they tend to draw traffic to your blog, but the reality here is… do you see any ads? Do I look like I’m whoring for traffic? Hee hee.

Now, if you have ads on your blog, don’t get all offended. That was a rather tongue in cheek remark and not meant to infer that those of you with ads on your blogs are whoring for traffic. I guess if I thought I could make enough to pay at least one bill, I’d do ads. But I sincerely think that not enough people come here to read my bullshit for it to be worth the inconvenience and disruption of my theme’s symmetry.

Anyway, I decided to do both Half Nekkid Thursday and Thursday Thirteen today. Probably because I already have a pic to use for HNT and I came up with a weird idea for TT. (If there was a theme or prompt this week - oh, well. I never follow prompts. I don’t like to be hemmed in!) At first, I was thinking of making my TT a list of all the people I thought would read my Pink Chair Diaries submission and comment. But that list bothered me. So here’s my offering for today. Enjoy!

Hey, if Fab can show his toes, and Avitable can get a purple pedicure… so can I! Personally, I think my feet look like Flintstones feet, but at least I don’t have bunions or anything gross like that.

Now, for my 14th Thursday the Thirteenth I give you, thirteen ways I can attend my company’s annual picnic without going solo.

1. I can have my kid bring two friends. One as her guest and one as mine. Oh, yeah. A teenage date at a function where I’m the chairman of the event committee. That will look good on a resume.

2. Invite a local blogger. Umn, this leaves me only a few choices really. Hilly, Jason X, Kaige… those are the only people I can think of who are fairly local for me. I wouldn’t mind taking any of them since I like them all a lot. However, I don’t know if I would have enough courage to screw up to ask. I screw up a lot of crap, but courage ain’t usually one of em.

3. Pay for Shinygal to fly out for the weekend. This one is really problematic. First, there’s the money issue and second, there’s the issue of her house closing escrow this week. However, if I knew that Avenged Sevenfold was gonna be around, hanging in some local HB club that weekend, I bet she would hock her grandma to come out here.

4. Invite the entire blogosphere via Twitter and hope that whoever has the money and inclination to take me up on my offer isn’t some really strange and fucked up person like a midget who works for the slaughterhouse or something.

5. Ask my brother to stay an extra week so he can attend. Meh. So not a good idea. I’d really rather NOT take any of my family members to this event. Not him, not any of my nieces or nephews… just no family. They know too many things about me … like my childhood nickname. It would totally undermine my position as the computer nazi in the office if that nickname got out.

6. Take my “mother-in-law” aka Rott’s mom. She’s a nice lady. She’s pretty good to me too. Slips me moohlah sometimes. I actually wouldn’t mind if she went cause she’d like playing bingo probably and she’s not colorful at all, so probably no one would remember her come Monday. However, she’s not a good driver so I wouldn’t really like to ask her to drive the 20 miles to the park from her house. And at the current price of gas, I’m so not driving to get her.

7. I could place an ad on Craigslist for a date. I’d probably get some pretty interesting takers, wouldn’t you think? “Woman needs date to cemetery company picnic.” Whoever answers the ad would probably look like Dave did in his Goth video, only scarier.

8. Place an ad on eHarmony or one of those dating sites. I really think I wouldn’t get anything but some con artist from Africa who would expect me to wire him all kinds of money to come. Then he’d just take the money and never show. Those dating sites are filled with con men. It’s really pathetic how they try to prey on women who just want a relationship. You’d think that nice looking old man who hawks eHarmony on TV would screen these fuckers better. Or maybe he’s getting a cut of the scam money…

9. Place an ad on one of the “adult” sites. I’d get the best offers here, I think. I’ve been a member of one of those sites before. Got a boyfriend from adult friendfinder years ago. Austin was hot. A little flaky, but hot. And he wasn’t bullshitting me about liking me either. Yeah, it could be interesting to show up with some hot young thing who was all over me. Heh. The only problem would be everyone wondering what happened to Rott. (Who is away, and won’t be back in time to go. Not that he ever did go to the picnic. Not his thing.)

10. Hire an escort. This one could spell lots of fun. Other than the money issue, I’d probably find this to be an excellent solution. These guys always know how to handle themselves at an event like this. The only question would be… would he expect me to handle him?

11. Pick up some random dude off the street. This was my kid’s idea. You’re shaking your head, aren’t you? My reasons for not liking this idea are directed at Motley, not the rest of you. Are you out of your fricking mind? I’d end up with some scumbag meth-head who would pick my pocket and rifle my purse! Not to mention what damage he could do at the picnic. Geez.

12. Put an ad in the local paper. Meh. All the single guys who would be looking at those ads in Orange County are either looking for a sugar mama or are rejects from Revenge of the Nerds VI or something.

13. Bring the guy who just got fired. I like him. He’s a lot of fun. I was sad to hear he got fired. Boy, would it stir the shit pot. LOL Of course, it would be a bad move on my part if I ever wanna entertain any idea of moving up the promotion ladder. God, it would be funny though.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Happy TT, HNT, and just plain ole Thursday to all of youse guys!

Happy belated birthday to Jason X from the User Pool. Remind me to give you a link to my private naked Kelly Monaco slideshow! If you readers don’t know Jason, you need to check him out. His blog is very funny. The satire is incomparable! I shoulda known he was a Taurus…

Speaking of birthdays, Friday is Motley’s birthday. She has a fistful of Knotts Berry Farm tickets and no ride. Apparently, Motley’s bestie went to the doctor today. He told her she has anxiety and gave her drugs. Now she can’t go to Knotts for fear of getting too excited. Hmmph. There’s one kid who won’t be having sex anytime soon. Everyone stop by Socially Dead on Friday and help make Motley feel better about being 19 and not having a ride to Knotts. Hmmmn. Maybe Jason needs a day off from the User Pool and could go…

Alright, here’s something you can all sink your fangs into this Wednesday. Bite it, taste it, hump it until it’s wet and limp! THAT is Keeley Hazell. I wonder if I coulda gotten away with showing her boobage. Aw fuckit. Go here to see her tits.

If boobage ain’t your thang, I give you Nacho Figueras. Polo star extraordinaire. The face of Polo Black cologne. And now, the face of Mr. Fabulous, a darkly mysterious character in the Bar Story.

Mr. Fabulous has already had his entrance in the story, but it was fleeting. He comes to the Library, where the Blood Mistress reigns over the annals of the vampire world, and basically has her bowing and scraping and kicking out the other people in the Library. They get a glimpse of him and that’s it. The Blood Mistress’s first post features this mysterious Fabulous. He’s devious. He’s powerful. He’s handsome. He probably has a big dick too. Why else would he be so arrogant? Hee hee. His storyline is still in the works so there could be some major twists and turns ahead.

Before I sign off today, I want to talk hardcore with you. Yes. My 100th post is very close. And yes. I have noticed something about the comments on the 90+ posts thus far. One, you people like sex. If I post sex stuff from the Bar, you are all here slathering over it and drooling in the comments. Two, you people like freaky. If I post about cemetery stuff you are all fascinated in that rubber necking at a gruesome accident where a motorcyclist was decapitated on the freeway way. Lots of comments on the sex and the cemetery. Oooh. Now, that’s a catchy title!

I don’t know that you like hotness. You don’t comment on Wednesday hotness. So what’s wrong with this picture? You like sex. You like the cemetery. You don’t like the half naked celebs? I bet Dave didn’t even notice when I had Liz Hurley naked on here. I don’t think anyone did. Not that her tatas were hanging out anyway. It woulda been a MUCH better Humpday with naked Liz tits. Although, come to think of it, I do have naked Liz tits… Liz Phair. Maybe I will post those next week.

So what is it that you like? Sex? Freaky stuff? Freaky sex maybe? I’ll have to work on that last one. Not sure how to work it into this blog theme. If you like freaky sex you shoulda read my Pink Chair Diaries post. It was a little freaky and a lot hot. I’m not asking for comments. I’m just trying to get a handle on what you all like so I can accommodate you in the next 100 posts. After all, we can’t all be fucking Fabulous… although you know you want to.

See yas manana for a Half Nekkid Thursday and maybe even a Thursday Thirteen too!

Yeah, I know. I’m so not the kind of girl who would listen to these guys. However, I gotta say that this album is really different from their earlier boy band bullshit. I’m kinda impressed with the whole thing truthfully. Well crafted. Catchy stuff that’s not bubble gum. It’s not Queensryche or Motley Crue, but it’s good stuff.

This song was stuck in my head all night. I don’t sleep much or well. I doze really. Drifting in and out of consciousness. I almost always have a song stuck in my head when I’m sleeping. When I woke up at 5 am and this song was still playing in my head, I looked at the clock and told Swirly, “I guess I have my Tuesday Tune.”

Enjoy!

It was a wild, wild Sunday on Blog Talk Radio. In fact, it was fucking Fabulous! First, there was a 2 hour Snackie Radio live from Jester’s house in NoCal. It was a VERY wild show. You can find the podcast here. After that, it was Hilly on Fab’s show, which was really just a continuation of the zaniness from her show. Here’s the podcast for Fab’s show. Next up was Turnbaby, who is REALLY fucking Fabulous. All in all, it was a wild night of BTR shows… except that there was a finale to this night that started after hours. It was a true after hours show that started at 8 pm Pacific time. Jester had a great 2 hour show live from his house with Hilly and other guests. Here’s the podcast. It was a fantastic night of radio.

Today’s Marcus photo is a black and white. I was gonna use one of the pics of him wearing sunglasses or the headband photo that I used in my very first incarnation of the Skankenberg avatar at Zanctuary. Instead, I found my eyes drawn to this picture. It’s a very low key image. There isn’t anything about it that just jumps right out at you. However, when you do look at it, click on it to see it full size. That’s when the symmetry of his muscles and the beauty of his bone structure leap out at you. It doesn’t hurt that his eyes have that come hither expression either.

On to the Marcus Award. I’ve added last weeks points to the total because it’s a recap week. Here’s how the point recap shakes out: Mary-85, Matt-66, Shinygal-60, Fab and Susan-54. That’s the top five. With Mary spending all her time as the mobile milk bar, someone else could totally take the prize from her. This contest is on until whichever week in June is a non-rent week. Which means, June 20 I think. The next recap will be June 9. There will be a break between the 20th and July 1 when the next contest starts. I need to come up with a different idea for awarding Marcus and I still need an idea for the Alaric Award.

In other contest news, I owe Jester a shirt, but I think he wants Dave’s cards instead. So when I buy Motley her cards I’ll order an extra deck for Jester. That tagline he came up with is perfect. The Absurdist got a Bite shirt (before I changed the logo) for inspiring the domain name. Still no winner on the Air France commercial, but I found out the director’s name: Daniel Askill, who is Australian. There’s still a chance for you to win this contest by finding out the name of the man in the Air France Pool commercial. If you go here, you’ll find some info on the commercial.

Hope you all have a great Monday!

Goo Goo Face

Winter Formal

Halloween

Happy Mother’s Day!

I gotta talk about the Bar today. The reason for this is that I’m looking for inspiration. Or motivation. Not sure which. It’s funny how those two things can become interchangeable. And actually, I think my problem is distraction, not inspiration or motivation. Too many “shun” words for a Saturday morning, I think. My head’s already buzzing and I haven’t even had a glass of water yet.

Distraction is in the form of the lovely pre-paid card that I use on the internet. It’s not attached to my bank accounts so I feel a lot better about using it online. I went to albertsons.com last night and did my grocery shopping for the next two weeks. $97 later, I’m ready to check out. Card declined. WHAT? You fuckers, it’s freaking PAYDAY. No way is my card declined. Then I think, shit… new girl doing payroll. She coulda effed up anything. I call the automated system. “Account balance $513.76. There are no pending deposits or transactions at this time.”

Now, I’m really going WTF? I try to get a live person. Instead, I get the “If you need to speak to a live customer service representative, please call back between our normal business hours of 9 am to 5 pm Pacific time, Monday thru Friday.” I’m really stewing now. All the stuff I planned to do this weekend has now been fucked up. For some reason, even though there is plenty of money on the card, whatever I try to do gives back a “declined”. Grrrrr.

I had to call the cable company and tell them I will WALK a payment in. The girl at Time Warner was very helpful and sympathetic. She said if I didn’t really feel like walking the payment in, she would just give me an extension so I could call in the payment once the card issue was resolved. Why couldn’t the card company be this easy and assessable? All the bills were pretty accommodating. Apparently, this is a common card problem so all the companies I was going to pay were willing to wait a few days for payment until the situation was cleared up. That was great! Except for my groceries.

I’m sitting here with my stomach growling and my brain set on Grrrr because I can’t get my groceries delivered. I have food. I bought $176 bucks worth 2 weeks ago and then ate out most of last week. My cupboards are pretty full. It’s the principle though. I give you my freaking money and pay 50 cents a transaction PLUS $5 a month to use this card online. The least they could do is let me use it when there’s clearly a bunch of money on it!

Okay, enough about my distract-SHUN. On to my motiva-SHUN. I wanna write. I’m trying to put myself into writing mode because I do have stuff I need - want - to crank out. However, I think the distraction has affected my motivation. My annoyance level is high and my mind isn’t on Griffin the way it should be when I’m about to start a post about him getting ready to attend his newfound sister’s wedding. So maybe my motivation isn’t quite where it should be yet. If I write Griffin now, will he be all pissy and angry? Will that be a waste of my writing time if I have to edit the whole freaking thing to change how he sounds?

This brings me to inspira-SHUN. Griffin is a complex character. He has a lot of twisted things happening in his life. He’s supposed to be on edge and nervous, faced with a situation where he clearly wants to be accepted, but he’s feeling apprehensive and cautious because his newfound brother thinks he’s a monster. He’s going to need some hand holding to make it through this event, so he’s looking to his best friend since childhood to attend with him. He’s also going to wonder what his new family will think if he brings a man to the wedding. Of course, he knows that there is a simple explanation for why he’s bringing Roman. Roman is not only his best friend, he’s his business partner. When Griffin went to Paris to meet his long lost family, Roman accompanied him. Griffin does know other people in Paris - females - but his new family doesn’t know that. They do know he arrived with his business partner so maybe they won’t question the fact that he’s shown up with a man at an event where everyone has a date.

Hmmn. I’m starting to feel the pull. The annoyance is receding and my characters are calling me. if I make myself some food will I lose the little bit of headway I’ve made toward recapturing my groove? Or will the growling and pain in my empty gut be yet another distract-SHUN?

BANG! CRASH! THUMP! I think the decision was just made for me. I’m now looking at two very guilty orange faces. Something has gone down in the living room. The Feral Brothers are looking at me like they are in trouble. If I haul my ass up to check it out, I might as well make breakfast. So, I’m off to clear away the disaster - or call Motley to - and make some chow. Hopefully, when I return to this computer the twats won’t keep me from getting into Griffin’s head and turning out his post about his sister’s wedding.

Wish me luck.

This Thursday Thirteen is about cemeteries again. This time it’s 13 random things about cemeteries, graves, related websites and tours, famous deaths, etc. Just a collection of odd bits that you might find fascinating or gruesome. My personal favorite: #1. I could spend hours touring that cemetery using the virtual tour!

1. Pere Lachaise Cemetery - This is one of the most famous cemeteries in Paris. Lots of famous people buried there including Jim Morrison. The thing I like about it, is that it has this virtual tour on it’s website… it’s just like walking through it but not as tiring. Awesome!

2. Batesville Casket Company is one of the largest casket companies in the world. It’s headquartered in Batesville, IN.

3. Here’s a video on how caskets are made:

4. Tyler Cassity of Hollywood Forever Cemetery is a pretty hot looking guy. His cemetery is really cool too. Lots of famous people buried there.

5. Ave Maria is a popular choice of music for funeral services. It’s typically sung in Latin by choirs. Here’s a version of the classical song done in English by the rock band Soundgarden.

6. Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia is the probably the most famous cemetery in the U.S. I’ve been there and it was a visit that was a stand out among the many places I’ve seen in this country. The Eternal Flame on JFK’s grave is strangely moving. Even more moving is the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The sentinels are awe inspiring. If you’ve never heard the story of these sentinels, click this link and check it out. Also, the cemetery’s website has a page on the training the sentinels go through. It’s a really fascinating read.

7. The most famous of the English are buried, not in a cemetery, but at a church. The monarchs of England are buried at Westminster Abbey.

8. Looking for a famous grave? Check out Find A Grave. There’s a ton of info here. I can’t tell you if it is completely accurate though.

9. When you’re done looking for graves, head on over to Find A Death and check out all the “deliciously sordid” stories of the deaths of famous people.

10. Speaking of Find A Death , they have some pretty interesting (or gruesome depending upon your take on this stuff) “memorabilia”. Here’s a link to Diana, Princess of Wales’ death certificate. Doesn’t mean a whole lot unless you read French.

11. Here’s another site that has info on celebrity grave sites This guy calls himself the Grave Hunter.

12. Going back to Hollywood Forever Cemetery, here’s a link to their virtual tour of their celebrity graves.

13. With Memorial Day drawing near, I thought I’d end with this video and a poem that I love that is quite fitting with the vid.

In Flanders Fields

by Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD

(1872-1918) Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Happy TT!