Himself Didn’t Work

Author: Winter  |  Category: cats, confessions, rants, relationships, sadness

Remember when people were retweeting Neil Gaiman’s call for people to help me find homes for the kittehs? Remember how so many people emailed and said they would take them? Do you know how many of those people actually did what they said they would do? None of them. Well, one person who said she would take one, ended up not being able to, but yanno… she found someone else who would. An author from Lyrical Press came and adopted the only female.

So all of that frenzy was pretty much for naught and makes me wonder if those people just said those things thinking the great Neilhimself would notice them. I’m still left with my life falling apart and pain in indescribable places and the babies still need homes. Oh, they are fixed and have had shots now though.

Nicki’s cat Neko will not be coming home from the foster care home because the vet discovered she has a heart condition that will require expensive medication and treatment. I can’t afford that. I don’t even have a car that works at the moment and I have DH who is looking for a way to not live with or be with me anymore.

I have an ad on Craigslist in the hope that the smallest of the babies will all find homes. I’m afraid to give them all up because then the DH will still leave and I will have nothing. Having nothing to look forward to is a very desolate feeling. I’m pathetic enough to wish to work things out with him. When he says he cannot live like this and he’s going to leave because of it, I just want to throw up and pains begin in various parts of my body. I’ve swallowed some Tylenols so hopefully the physical pains will dull soon.

As for my heart… I think it’s done. Three times I let a man have it and two times it’s been tossed back. Third time doesn’t look like it’s a charm. I really think he’s just gonna stomp all over it and walk away as if the last ten years was ten minutes. When people stop talking to you and tell you they don’t want to talk about it, that’s a pretty significant thing.

So aside from being an emotional zombie who doesn’t know how to do anything except sit and let the hot tears wash down her face, I still need homes for some of the babies. Last time the mobilization got me all jacked up on hope and got one kitten a home. Can it be done again? This time to save my sanity or my life (since my blood pressure is about as high as strokesville.) You tell me.

Am I wasting my breath again? Maybe I should just open the door and push them all out… cats, the DH, the lazy kid. Or maybe I should just quietly get the car fixed, toss some stuff in the trunk, pick up my netbook and walk away from all of them. That seems really irresponsible of me. I’m not usually the type you can’t rely on to see things through, but I’m tired of the lip service from everyone starting with my daughter, the man I’ve been with for ten years, and all those people on here who promised to help me but couldn’t be bothered to return an email. Am I the only person out here with ethics and a heart? Is that why everyone stomps on me? Is that why I feel so miserable that I’m gonna have to run to the sink and yak as soon as I post this?

For years I’ve been responsible for others. I’m still responsible for them, sacrificing for them. And I don’t feel appreciated in the least. Now, I’ve strangers treating me the same way with their empty promises of assistance. Am I wrong to want someone to be straight up with me and just help me without asking for or expecting anything in return or reneging? And those people I would like something from – my kid, my DH – why is it that they care only for their own feelings and nothing for mine? Am I just something they use like a utensil or a car? I’m convenient and acquiescent I guess. Perfect for giving lip service to.

If you know someone who could help find the kittehs homes, please repost and retweet the Craigslist link. I really do need homes for them before they end up in the street. I have a feeling that is where I am headed here soon because I just do not see a HEA up ahead.

wintersig

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Himself

Author: Winter  |  Category: cats, friends, sadness

I’m not sure how it happened but New York Times bestselling author and pop icon Neil Gaiman got hold of my Flirty Author Bitches post about the babies. Apparently, he has a half a million followers. I can believe it. My bandwidth usage tripled in the space of a few minutes last night and I couldn’t even get on my own site. All the tweets and re-tweets are keeping that level of hits up there.

This morning I have a few thoughts about all of this. I remembered how the grass roots blogger efforts got Lisa of Clusterfook a trip to Disney World with her girls. I know from her email to me during the fundraising, how much that trip meant to her. I knew that there was power in the tweets and blog posts and blog radio shows in this community. I knew that grass roots efforts could yield solutions and so much more.

Help is being offered and I sincerely appreciate it. So does Motley (Nikki). We still need more help, but I can see that @neilhimself’s re-tweets have made a difference. I think the re-tweets of ordinary people can help too. There is a lot we can accomplish when we work together and pass the word. I’ve seen it happen before as in the case of Lisa, and I know it can happen again to help keep my babies safe.

Motley and I thank every one of you for your love and support and friendship. Those of you who check out Socially Dead for her Twilight spoof posts and leave her encouragement. Those of you come here and check out my Marcus Mondays and read my rambles about my life and my writing. Those of you who found us because of a celebrity’s post on Twitter. All of you have value to us. And you’ve all made a difference in our lives and hopefully the lives of the babies.

The Flirty Author Bitches post is called Mobilizing and I would say we’re headed to the freeway soon. The cause has movement. We just need to keep up the momentum until everyone has a safe home.

Thank you all. I can’t even express how wonderful you are. To save even one is a miracle. To save them all… well, we aren’t there yet, but I am beginning to have faith. Your tweets were just as responsible for turning on the light in my darkness as @neilhimself’s. I just have no words (although I’ve just typed a buttload of them, haven’t I? LOL) for how much this means to me.

Many hugs and MUAHS!

wintersig

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Miss You

Author: Winter  |  Category: Uncategorized, cats

I’m sad. And a little depressed. I want to be happy like this again. Maybe in a year…

Miss you, Rott. Happy 42nd Birthday.

On the flip side… we has babies… with open eyes.

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Marcus Monday – After the Duets Are Done

Author: Winter  |  Category: Marcus Monday, Marcus Schenkenberg, cats

Before I get started on the fun stuff, everyone please send Kyra Sutra some positive energy. Things are not going so well for her, and she could use all the good wishes, comfort, and support we can give her. I wish she lived nearby so I could coax her to eat and take care of herself, and just give her a hug and let her know people care about her.

Since it’s Marcus Monday and I’m bumming, I need a serious dose of my favorite hot guy today. Umm umm. He does look delicious there. Now, do you see why writing Alaric Kohl curls my toes? If you didn’t read my guest blogger post by Lex and Car, you should. When they talk about Alaric, it’s all about Marcus to me since Marcus is the physical representation of Alaric. He really does make my achy back feel better, just to look at him. Makes me wonder how he’d make me feel in person. I bet my back would get better right away. Heh.

Speaking of yummy men, three blogs with hotness come to mind. Jester, whom I only just checked out this weekend, has some hotness on his blog from Friday. The middle dude was yummo. He had the hottest eyes. The second hottie is David over at BellaDaddyBlog, who posted 2 pics. One was recent and the other was from when we were in high school. If you hop over to his blog you’ll see that I sure can pick em. I always did have a good eye for a hot man. It helps that David is the sweetest, funniest guy ever too. The third hot dude is Karl from Secondhand Tryptophan. Karl has been writing about sex lately. He does this very well too. And his blog is looking smoking hot these days, all new and gorgeous. Stop by and check out these yummy dudes.

Did you check out the LOL cat pic I made on Sunday? It’s Neko and Swirly. Neko whose name is now PREGO. Anyone want what is sure to be a beautiful *cough* maniacal *cough* kitten? Yes, my kid let me down once again. I know that this is what teens do to you, promise and lag at following through, but I am upset nonetheless. It does not help that the PITA tells me, “Things could be worse, Mom. I could be pregnant.” I did not need to hear that.

So now, I am at the Marcus awards for this Monday. It was a slow week for reacharounds, er comments. Some bloggers were taking some time off. Others were just busy. And I’m sure some just didn’t wanna read my shit. It’s all good. Life ebbs and flows. Rather like a septic tank. Our top earner this week is Shiny with 5. Then we have Mary and Susan with 4 each. Followed by Matt, Kaige, Kyra, and Karl with 2 each. Our onesies are Nicholas, Tempest, Jennifer, Darla, Harris, Ann, Pussreboots, Adelle, The Absurdist, Turnbaby, Anthony North, Missy, Blufeenix, Euroyank, and Metalmom. Next week is our recap to date. We are getting very close to end of this Marcus contest. I’m thinking I should change up the criteria for the next round, but I’m still pondering that.

Before I sign off, I first want to say that Mr. Fabulous had the BEST show ever on Sunday night. It was the Big Honkin’ Duet Show and the songs were fantastic! Some people were excellent singers, others were poor singers but such AWESOME sports, and others were just going for the laughs. All in all, a simply superb time was had by all. I may even lend my well trained but disease abused vocal cords to the next show. If my vocal cords are damaged beyond what sounds pleasant to the ear, I’ll go for the laughs somehow. I know Fab will assist me ably there.

My last comment before bed is that if you ever wanted to know how to be a girly girl, please visit the Absurdist. She is taking us step by step through the whole process. This week… eyelashes. How to make sure that you have some to bat at men. Heh. An excellent video tutorial. Have a great Monday everyone!

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Tagged… and Not With Graffiti!

Author: Winter  |  Category: The Bar Story, asthma, cats

My original plan for this post was to talk about the stuff I have on my plate currently at the Bar. However, I’m starting out my weekend post with a meme instead. I’ve been tagged. I looked at myself to see where the graffiti was, but couldn’t see it. The PITA asked me what I was doing twisting and turning in front of the bathroom mirror. So I told her. She snorted and said, “It’s a cyber tag, Mom. You can’t see it, which you know perfectly well. You’re such a dork. Always looking for blog fodder.”

She’s right. I am. If it’s not angles and ideas for the Bar Story that I’m on the hunt for, it’s blog fodder. I’d be an ambulance chaser if it gave me good fodder for my blog. You see, I struggle to be amusing. It does not come easily to me as it does to say, Matt-Man of Bagwine Ruminations, Mr. Fabulous of Pointless Drivel, or Diesel of Mattress Police. In fact, I don’t think I am amusing. I think I’m a dork. If you all are chuckling, it’s because I’m a dork, not because I’m funny. So, first up is the meme:

I got tagged by Tempest from Midnight Moon Cafe… Ah, Tempest, Tempest! Why you tagged ME for this meme is beyond me. Well, maybe not. You probably thought I’d post some wild outrageous stuff, didn’t you? Heh heh.

Okies, here’s how the tagged thingy works.

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six random things about you.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your blog entry.
5. Let the tagged people know by leaving a comment on their blog.

Now, here it is, Six Random Things About Winter:

1. I was diagnosed with asthma at 31. Never had it before that. It’s a weird, probably genetic, thing in our family. Boys – asthmas as kids. Girls – asthmas after having kids, or turning 30-ish, whichever comes first. Velvet and I are now wheezing our way through our 40’s together, coughing and sucking on steroidal inhalers. (Velvet is my niece. I’m a year older than her. We grew up together.)

2. I’ve always had cats with odd names. Dirty Nose, Coffee Grounds, Skunk, Dummy, Swirly. I never named any of them either. All have passed to the Rainbow Bridge except for Dummy and Swirly who are also known as the Feral Brothers. We still have Skunk too in a sense… his ashes are in a gray marble urn on the entertainment center in the living room. He was really Rott’s cat, but I loved him too.

3. My eyebrows don’t really grow anymore. I don’t have to pluck them very much or very often. I guess I’ve plucked them so much, for so long, that the hair just doesn’t bother to grow anymore. And yes, the arch in them is natural. Do you think I like walking around with an expression of perpetual surprise on my face?

4. I hate shopping. I don’t like going to the mall or the grocery store. I buy stuff online, even my groceries. It takes sooo much less time and the parking is superior! I’m even kinda getting meh about the bookstore. The bookstore shopping has starting sucking because the paranormals and romances are one aisle over from the mangas in my Barnes and Noble. Those manga kids piss me off, sitting in the paranormal aisles, in my way, making noise. Grrrr. Okay, I’m officially in the I hate all shopping in person category now. Even the bookstore.

5. My kid, the PITA, made me a bracelet last year when she was into beads. I got her these cool skull beads from South America so she included a few on my bracelet. Four white skulls and a black one, plus some green and purple beads (her BF Tyler’s fave colors – not sure why she put them on MY bracelet lol), and letter beads that spell out MEEMO. Meemo is what she’s always called me. Well, until she got older. Now, she only says it when she’s wheedling. Meemo stands for Mean Mom. I wear that name like a badge of honor, I tell you.

6. My sex life had always been feast or famine until I met Rott. I went 2 years without having sex with a man and then ended my drought by having a slut year where I screwed my way through about 14 guys. I know. I’m a baaaaad girl. I was 26 or 27 at the time. My parents had both just died. Call it Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It sure sounds better than saying it was a slut year.

Here are the people I’m passing this lovely bit of internet graffiti on to: Mary, Mr. Fabulous, Shiny, the Libertine, Susan, and Nicholas. I can’t wait to see how creative they get with this. *EG* I would have loved to tag Andrei Andrei, but since he is a quasi celeb, could I do that? I mean, he’d just blow me off, wouldn’t he? And yes, Nicholas, I know you did this one already, but c’mon! The last one you did was excellent. Here’s your chance to fascinate me some more. *wink*

Now that the meme is out of the way, here’s the post I had planned for this weekend… what’s on my writing plate at the Bar.

Weylyn Randall – My bi-sexual werewolf is on his way to a rendezvous with Isolde the pixie. She’s drunk and looking to get laid. Weylyn is always looking to get his were on. Should be a match made in sexual heaven. This is bound to be a very hot sex post.

Nyx McClaren – Her nemesis, the Fallen Angel Macaire, has laid down the gauntlet, but the ever resourceful water fairy/spy is busy trying to find her missing brother-in-law. She has a pow wow with the rest of the family, making plans to search for the missing Helios.

Lex Valentine Kohl – My petite pregnant vampire overhears her DH, Alaric the Asshole, on the phone with his brother Lucius. They are talking about their newly discovered cousin Griffin, whom the men do not trust. After the phone convo, Lex and Al get into it once again over the new BMW 5 series sedan that Alaric wants Lex to drive instead of her Mini Cooper. The megabitch lashes out at the asshole… do apologies ensue? Or do they just have angry sex instead?

Griffin Rothchild Kohl – The newest member of the Kohl family ponders his new relatives as he heads for a library to do some research on the Hellbounds vampires. At the vamp library, he meets a woman who is crucial to his destiny. Could she be his mate?

Althea Grenville – The youngest of the Fallen Angel Grenville sisters is in Norway with Lorenzo Moretti, searching for his best friend Antonio Blue. Althea is falling hard for Lorenzo, but knows that she cannot have a mate. The sex is hot between them and her feelings are riding high. Can she give him up once she helps him find Antonio? And what is that weird blue glow in Lorenzo’s chest?

Matt Havens – The Pixie Prince arrives back in the Otherworld with his fiancee, the fire elemental Emmy Morgan. Matt has to meet the parents and prepare to go back to work as a Calvin Klein underwear model. His mate, Emmy, has work too, now that she has a recording contract. Plus, there is an odd mystery going on in the Morgan family surrounding the disappearance and possible death of Em’s cousin Vanora. Can Matt and Emmy balance their careers with the drama in Em’s family and Matt’s obligations to his people behind the veil?

Tait Rockwell – The Queen of the Fairies is comforting Mace over the loss of his mate Vanora. At home, behind the veil, Puck is waiting for her return. She also has an obligation to the rockstar/vampire Rune. She’s supposed to help him finish his album. How can she continue to be Mace’s friend when he’s such a fuck up and her mate Puck is jealous as hell of her prior relationship with Mace?

Jensen Rudolph – My rare white werewolf has to break off her secret affair with Drey, the youngest brother of the man she’s been in love with all her life. Playing the dom to Drey’s sub was fun for awhile, and she’s taught him a lot about how to play the waiting game as the Beta in the pack. Once Drey’s gone from her life, does she dare to call Bram Steele, the vampire who is interested in her?

Dante DeAmbrose – The beautiful young vampire has to ditch her overprotective brothers Vaughn and Christian, with the help of her pal Lilith, in order to meet with Roman Wulf for another round of hot sex. Before she can do that, she has to run an errand for Christian. The errand changes the course of her life.

Bianca Frith – The wildling goes to Club Insolent with rockstar Rune, who is her mate’s best friend. Bianca’s undergone a makeover courtesy of Ruby Morgan and Rhiannon Blackthorne, but she’s still feeling the rejection of her lover and mate Spyder Burke. At the club, Bianca meets Spyder’s sister Gracie and runs into Spyder himself. A heated encounter in a dark hallway between Spyder and Bianca leads to more than either one of them was ready for.

Sterling McCarran – The new Fallen Angel, ex-CIA agent, is trying to find her place in the immortal world. She’s partnered with another new Fallen Angel, the son of her former lover Mace. Mal is handsome and lost in this world. In an effort to cope, Sterling takes Mal to her grave, the beautiful tomb that Mace had commissioned for her at Pere Lachaise Cemetery. Unfortunately, she runs into Mace there. How does she deal with a man she once loved, who has just lost his mate and unborn son? And how does she hide the fact that Mal is the unborn son he lost?

Tarren Griffith – My half black/half silver dragon is sitting in the bay window, waiting for her mate to return, and trying not to fear that he’s died. She is unaware of the fact that the rest of the Kronos family has arrived at a plan for searching for Helios. She’s also unaware of the fact that the evil mage Caden is responsible for Helios’ disappearance during the mission to eliminate the last black dragon death squad. As dawn breaks, Helios appears, flying toward the chateau, releasing Tarren from her watch. Will she hit him or hug him once they are together again?

The Bar is really heating up. Lots of exciting stories and hot sex on tap in the coming days. Okay, that’s it for me. Hope you all have a great weekend!

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Monster Invasion

Author: Winter  |  Category: cats

The monsters in my life invade everything. My day, my night, my absolute everything. You see, the monsters are 2 feral cats and an arrogant kitten. My boyfriend tamed some feral kittens and that’s how I ended up with Swirly and Dum Dum (aka Dummy)Feral Cat. Otherwise known as the Feral Brothers.

The boys are about a year old now and in the past two or three months have gotten bigger and filled out. Okay, Dummy has gotten bigger and filled out. Swirly is still a skinny little thing afraid of his own shadow. They are very loving especially Swirly who likes to sleep with me and burrows under my hand as I sleep so I’m touching him. Dummy, so named because he’s a “big dumb guy” is a little more independent and lackadaisical. That’s Swirly with the big scared eyes.

The first thing anyone notices about Dummy is that he is beautiful. Exceptionally so. I just can’t get over how he turned into a big thick muscular butterball from the tall lean kitten he was before. I mean, I thought he was done growing he was so big, but oh, no! Overnight he seems to have become a big ass tom cat!

Now, added to this mix of the Feral Brothers is my daughter’s kitten, Neko aka Neko Monster aka Miss Sparta. This kitten is an attention whore and she has more energy than both boys put together. She causes a LOT of trouble! The boys were comparatively mellow until she came. She is wired out of her skull! If you’ve ever seen the Mean Kitty Song about Little Sparta the Mean Kitty on You Tube then you have seen Neko in action. She is just like Sparta.

These three monsters invade everything I do. Eating, sleeping, reading, working on the computer. Whatever it is that I am doing one or all of them will invade and mess with me. Usually, Neko Monster is the ring leader. I wonder how I’m gonna survive. I can’t eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom without the monsters. They sleep on my head, my legs, my stomach, my hands. They curl up around my feet if I’m on the toilet or sitting at my desk. They grab my legs when I get things out of the refrigerator. (They especially like the whipped cream can.) My life is a walking nightmare thanks to them. But I’m stuck. They’re so cute and lovable. I hate them and I love them. They make me laugh and they make me want to use them to make a field goal.

So I yell and curse and throw things at them… and let them sleep on me and eat off my plate when I’m done. Then I hear them purr and I know I couldn’t ever do anything really mean to them. Well, at least until the next time I try to put on my work shoes only to find a dried up cat turd they’ve been playing hockey with.


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