Having a landlord feels and is oppressive. We’ve lifted that yoke from our shoulders. When I step out onto my porch with my morning cup of coffee and look at the canyon, I know that the land I’m looking at doesn’t belong to me. Yet, it does in the sense that it is MY view from MY porch. And looking out my windows and not seeing another building which is part of a row of identical buildings is so wonderful it brings tears to my eyes.

I grew up on a street with ranch style houses. Across the street were the pastures of a dairy farm. I lived on that street until I was 26 years old. Being thrust into the apartment and condo environment stifled me and I’ve been living the oppressed renter life way too long. The canyon I drive through now to get home reminds me of the canyons of Laguna Seca near my hometown. It’s like I’ve come full circle without having to go back to my hometown.  What it means to me is something I cannot even put into words, but it is without a doubt, independence.

Another instance of independence in my life is Nikki (aka Motley) who is now 22. She made plans for her 3 week summer break. Plans that didn’t include coming home. Instead, she went to Wisconsin to see a friend from WoW. She made the arrangements with him and his family and didn’t ask me for a dime. She flew there on her own. All I did was drive her to the airport.

Missing her these past 2 weeks has made me aware of her independence and what that means to me as a parent.  Nikki being on her own means that I am alone. Yes, Rott is here and the babies, but that’s different. Nikki is my flesh and blood. The only flesh and blood I am close to. I am not close to my siblings and their children for several reasons and I cannot rely on them to give me a sense of family. However, I do rely on Nikki for that. She is my only child and recognizing her independence means recognizing that one day she could move far away from me. That’s scary. Very, very scary.

I would never ask my child to stay close by because I am afraid to be alone. But the fear is there nonetheless. As independent as I am, I still fear being alone. There are moments I love solitude, but the sense that I am alone in this corner of the world without my only flesh and blood strikes at some deep fears within myself.

I don’t question my independence because of those fears. In some odd way, the fears strengthen my independence. Normally, I don’t think about it except once in awhile. But today is Independence Day so I thought the least I could do is acknowledge my own independence and that of my daughter. I’m so proud of her.  She’s sticking to her guns and working to finish school so she doesn’t have to struggle as I have. Her independence comes from me in many ways and I like to think I’ve not done such a bad job of parenting.

So all you parents of adult children out there, when you’re celebrating Independence Day today, also give yourself a pat on the back for creating and nurturing independence in your kids.  It’s a tough job and part of it is learning to let go and embrace your own sense of being independent.

Before I go, here’s a Marcus to brighten the day for you!

Loving those summer whites! Wishing you all a wonderful American 4th of July Independence Day!

Now, it’s pretty obvious to most people that I just don’t have the personality of a mommy blogger. Still, as I looked at those blogs, I almost wished I were. Not that I could be because my kid is 22 not 2. Whoever heard of a mommy blogger who posts about grown children?

As I finished the site, I realized that even though I could never be a mommy blogger for so many reasons, I am still a mom. I brag about my kid when she does something great. I worry about her when she’s far away as she is right now. I get angry when she does dumb stuff. And I just love her so much that I want everything to go right in her world.

Currently, she’s in Wisconsin enjoying her summer break of three weeks with a friend. If you go to my Facebook page and click on her page (she’s listed in the sidebar as my daughter) you’ll see some amazing photos of a waterfall that she took today. She looks like she’s having a great time despite her inauspicious start of having her second flight canceled due to bad weather, leaving her stranded in the Minneapolis airport.

So I’m not a mommy blogger. Meh. I am Mom and no one can take that away from me regardless of whether I post cute kid photos on my blog or not!

After all these weeks away due to moving and having my desktop computer die, I seriously need a Marcus to cheer me up. I’m missing my kid and finding it hard to regain my sea legs after so much time away. I missed you all, missed posting, missed Marcus…

But I love those bulging muscles! Heh. Boy, am I glad to be back!

Have a great Monday!

There’s still some updating of info we need to do (I need to fix my CafePress stuff) but it’s all small stuff at this point. The blog has now been resurrected and hopefully it will have more of a life than her past “I have no life” musings. If you get a chance, cruise on by and take a look at Skully’s – and Motley’s – new home.

I’ve decided I don’t have much of a life either. All I do is work. Work at the office, work at home. Of course, there are days writing is sheer fun and other days when it’s just work.  I have a lot of writing ahead of me this year including a resurrection – erm, revision of my five year old Regency manuscript for a contest. Luckily, I only have to fix 30 pages of it for the contest and it doesn’t have to be a completed manuscript. That’s good for me cause the damned thing has no ending. More than 75,000 words and it’s just hanging there waiting for me to finish it. I’m hoping the revision of 30 pages gives me the impetus to finish this sucker.

A bunch of stressful things are going on at home and before you ask…things are fine with Motley and Rott.  We’ve just got external stuff happening that is putting a lot of strain on all of us right now. I’m sleeping even worse than usual, but I’m hoping some things that are up in the air at the moment will be resolved in a  few days one way or the other. No one’s dying as far as I know so I figure I’ll just bite the bullet and try to deal as best I can and hope for the best cause I guess it could all be worse. (How many cliches did I just slap into a single sentence, eh? LOL)

I’ve got a nice Marcus in his undies here in honor of my friend Sally whom I recently found on Facebook after having lost touch with her more than 20 years ago.  She’s a little down in the dumps so I sent her a copy of The Pixie Prince and told her Max the underwear model should make her laugh. Because of Max, I bring you Marcus modeling underwear.

I do love the way he fills out boxer briefs…

On Wicked Wednesday I’ve got a guest blogger talking about vampires so come on back and check it out later this week.  I hope you all have a great Monday!

Of course, I could tell with a few of them that they just needed a better vocabulary, better word choices, to pump up the story and give it more oomph. Others, well, let’s just say that the plots needed some work.  I will say that there were two real standouts of the ten I read and that’s a pretty decent percentage.

I talked to Nikki (Motley) about how to present yourself when you try to get a job. I told her to stand up straight and not slouch. People might perceive you as lazy and schlumpy if you don’t stand up straight. Now, in Nikki’s case, standing up straight means her gigantic boobs are really, really on display. There’s not much we can do about that.  I mean, Mother Nature saw fit to endow her with the kind of chest strippers pay plastic surgeons to get.  I try to get her to dress so that her chest isn’t so much on display when she’s job hunting. After all, despite it not being right for people to judge each other, they just do especially when they need to size up job applicants.

Used to be, Nikki had the attitude that since people shouldn’t judge each other she could suit herself. She was in her teens then and feeling all angsty and rebellious. Now, she gets it that while we shouldn’t judge others there are times you have to and most people are gonna do it anyway.  I don’t think it’s how humans are biologically, I think it’s how our culture is. And luckily, at 21, Nikki now gets this too. Now, if only she could just get people to stop staring at her boobs and give her a customer service type job…

Today’s Marcus is low key and pretty. I was playing around with gradients in Photoshop and used my favorite Marcus photo.  I love purple.

Oh! Before I go I invite you to check out Fonts For Peas. Amanda made a font out of my handwriting! It’s called peaLex Valentine. I should probably use it on this site. Whadda ya think?

Wishing you all a non-judgmental Monday!

Since I’m now short of time and need to run off to shower, I’m just gonna tell you about a chance to win a Sony eReader and other prizes in 1Romance Ebooks’ Birthday Blog Tour. What you need to do is head over to 1Romance Ebooks and register for the prizes. They give you a number that you use to comment at all the blog tour stops. Those comments give you chances to win the eReader and other prizes. I’m giving away a copy of the newest Tales of the Darkworld book, Common Ground, when I blog as part of the tour on the 21st at LexValentine.com.

Okay time for a Marcus and a shower! Hmmn. Maybe I should combine those…

That’s from the most famous series of photos of him, back at the beginning of his career. It’s still one of the hottest images of him there are.

Don’t forget, I’m blogging over at Lex Valentine on Wednesday and my last two posts there are on sci fi rom books I’ve read so if you’re looking for a good read check those out. Wish me luck with the server this morning! Everyone have a great Monday!