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Today, I have a Tuesday Tune and then I’m gonna get all personal on you.

When people ask me what my favorite Christmas song is, I usually offer up the old carols. The songs I sang in accapella choir. The Boar’s Head Carol, the Coventry Carol, the Holly & the Ivy, Carol of the Bells… you know the stuff. The very old non-commercial stuff. I could tell you all about the Coventry Carol and Lady Godiva and some other stuff, but MEH. No one cares anymore. Everyone likes modern music. Madonna doing Santa Baby. That Mariah Carey song. Aaron Neville.

Don’t get me wrong. I like some of ‘em too. Bing Crosby and David Bowie doing the Little Drummer Boy. But the truth of the matter is that in some ways I am a child of the 80’s still. The band that rose to such huge prominence and to this day retains as much respect for their politics as their music holds a place in my heart with their Christmas song.

Last year, I cried for hours. I just wanted Rott. I was so lonely without him. I was worried about him too up in the Sierras in the cold. I wanted things to be like they used to be. Of course, stupid me was thinking back several years instead of just one or two years. Our first Christmas together in Huntington Beach.  The year we were homeless and he brought a tree to the motel on Christmas Eve. I missed just holding him and having him hold me. Last year felt so much like my first Christmas without my parents that I got a little drunk. Couldn’t take the pain.

This year he’s home and all the joy and love that I thought would be there isn’t. It’s been replaced by wariness, caution, fear, trust issues, and a host of the most painful emotions I’ve ever experienced. I’m beset with loss and the man is right there. Things may not be hopeless but at the moment my limboland is painful and painfully barren. I’m not alone like last year, but the loss of so many of my hopes has left me feeling raw and even more lonely than I was last year.

I laughed at myself a few days ago about getting what you wish for. All I could wish for last year was to have him home with me where I knew he was safe and where I could show him that I loved him. This year… I know he’s safe at least. And when he smiles, I can see it. And I know that all this churning emotion at least tells me that I am still alive inside this shell.

And even if we can’t yet cross the chasm between us, and may never be able to, I have those places I can go to in my heart where I can still feel the heat of those memories we made together.  In my mind, Christmas will always be about that night we struggled to decorate a tree that filled a little room and how we laid together in the dark, holding hands, listening to midnight mass on the TV as the lights blinked on that dried out tree.

Sometimes, the best Christmas’s are the ones in your heart.

I made one. Yes, indeedy. Took last year’s and changed it. The credits at the end are a list of what I am thankful for this year. Make sure you watch it all.

Now, didn’t I promise you some feminine hotness? So here’s sorta how I see my three Tales heroines.

Shifting Winds

heroine: Elysia Granville, actress Naomi Watts

Hot Water

heroine: Eden Antaeus, actress Sofia Vergara

Ride the Lightning

heroine: Emily Carrington, actress Natasha Henstridge

And there  you have it! A look at sorta how the heroes and heroines of the Tales series appear to me. None of the photos do justice to the image in my head really. Immortals are all so much more perfect than humans and have that preternatural attractiveness that a human could never have. Meh. It’s one of the reasons I like my world so much. Even a woman like Emily who has more elegance than beauty comes of as extraordinarily gorgeous because of her dragon-ness.

Hope you all have a great Tuesday! Happy Holidays!

It’s a Tuesday Tune for the holidays. I love Soundgarden so this has been one of my fave Christmas songs ever since I first heard it.

Last night was a special Jester Show featuring Dave2 of Blogography. They talked about a lot of interesting stuff from iPhone apps and politics to touching up supermodels and cruise ships.  Iron-Fist (Vahid) called in as did Snackiepoo (Hilly) and me. My very short convo with them at the end of the show was about Throbbing Vampire Cock, my favorite Davetoon of all time.

If you didn’t get a chance to listen in to the show live, check out the podcast above. Fans of Ride the Lightning will get to hear the real Vahid and Dave speak! Yes, they both sound incredibly sexy as does Jester who has the best laugh in the world.  Jester Shows are never to be missed. They are so much fun!

Have a great Tuesday!

Yanno how things never end up as you planned? Yeah, well, the Ride the Lightning video I made falls right into that category. No Alice in Chains music after all. I ended up with a brand new Breaking Benjamin song. The funny thing is I still couldn’t make up my mind on the song even after I’d firmly decided on the band. So Nikki and I listened to three different tunes. Every time I heard one I’d think, “THAT’s the one!” Then I narrowed it down to two songs. I was pretty sure I wanted Without You but then I listened to Dear Agony again. But Nikki was sure. Without You.

So I finished the video and uploaded it wondering if I’d chosen right. The next morning I found myself unconsciously humming the song as I thought about the next scene I needed to write. Funny how things work out. It was the perfect song after all! It worked out like a plan within a plan although sorta random at the same time.

I’ll get back to Ride the Lightning in a minute cause I have a cute story to tell about it. But first I need to let you all know that Fire Season was nominated for a Rainbow Award. At the moment, they are taking votes from the public so that they can narrow down the nominees to a set of finalists that a panel of judges will chose a winner from. If you read and liked Fire Season, I very much appreciate your vote. I’d tell those of you who just want to support me to vote, but that feels sorta unethical for me say.

Anyway, the voting isn’t all that easy either unless you’re used to Live Journal polls. Here’s how you can vote for Fire Season in the Rainbow Awards:

Click this link to be taken to the poll. http://www.livejournal.com/poll/?id=1471994

Once there, you must sign in with either a Live Journal, Google ID or Open ID in the upper right corner. After you’ve signed in, on the left hand side click Fill Out Poll and you will get the voting page. Each category has multiple groups. You may vote for only ONE book in each group.

If you do not have any of those IDs to log in with you can leave a comment at this link with the name of the book you are voting for. Scroll to the bottom of the category and click on Leave A Comment.  http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/822605.html

I’m also guest blogging over at Naughty n’ Nice where I talk about being a Flash in the Pan! LOL You won’t want to miss me being all self-critical. *wink* I have lots of stuff coming in the next two weeks from interviews to blog posts to video features and contests. One of the things you can check out daily for one of my videos or books is The Romance Studio’s 13 Days of Halloween.

So, Ride the Lightning. First thing I have to say is that if it goes to print I’m sending autographed copies to Dave and Vahid. Vahid, of course, is my black dragon hero. Although, he’s a little tarnished at first. Dave, on the other hand, is blazingly hero-ish as the heroine’s best friend. Vahid Delrey is an arrogant black dragon who doesn’t really want Emily as his mate. She’s cold and haughty and not at all what he thinks will suit him. It’s not until he finds her in a BDSM club, hanging from her wrists, beaten bloody by an inexperienced Dom that he discovers her secrets and begins to feel chivalrous. So Vahid has issues. *sigh* (Yes, I know the story is sorta plans within plannish too.)

Dave Forrester, on the other hand, is a Magia (a wizard) who has been Emily’s best friend for years. As the owner of Far From Heaven (a BDSM club) he watches over Emily and tries to keep her from going too far off the deep end.

The funny thing about using bits of real people in a book is that I get it, but new readers don’t. Carol, a sweetheart of a woman on my Tales Yahoo group, didn’t realize that there was a REAL Vahid. So I showed her a photo from my Flickr account. Oh dear. She positively DROOLED over the real Vahid. Not that he’s not droolworthy. It’s just that she had a “Oh, oh, oh! OMG He’s REAL!” moment and it amused me. LOL Vahid already knew he was gonna star in this book but I hope Dave doesn’t get pissed that my character looks like him and has a thing for Liz Hurley… Wonder if he knows anything about whips?

Okay, time for a Marcus and then I need to haul myself off to work!

Ahh, so beautifully pensive. If you like Marcus click on this one and download it. It’s a large file. I’m off now, so have a great Monday!

Yep. I’m out of pocket today. Not at work. Instead, I’m home immersed in Ride the Lightning. Of course, the video for this story has been on my mind continuously for weeks. While I can use the title Ride the Lightning, I cannot use the music. (Although, Rott is of the opinion that I should and post it someplace that doesn’t police the music like You Tube does… just so Lars can be all pissy and sue us and so Rott can meet Lars and James. LOL)

At first, I wanted to use a song by Cavo from the Transformers soundtrack. But no, they are Warner artists. Then I thought about a song by Cold. Nope. Same problem. Eventually, I ended up with a song from the new Alice in Chains album. (They are with Virgin.) I ran a test on You Tube and it worked out fine. I took the vid down though cause it needs tweaking. (Motley: Mooooom! It’s tooooo faaaaaasst! I can’t read it!)

So all the dithering with music in the last week had me thinking of Marty and his Fuck You WMG post. I send authors and others who are interested in book trailers to read Marty’s words of wisdom. No reason for me to explain when he already did so, and very succinctly at that. As I see more and more book trailers popping up with popular songs and those little transparent footers that you can click off and the buy links that accompany the videos… I wonder if those bands are making more money because of the extra promo they get from us. I certainly hope they do!

I love reciprocity. I use their song to promo my book which in turn promos their music. I know of at least two blog posts that detail how the blogger found a new band to love from a book trailer featuring great music. One was a trailer of mine featuring the band The Divine Madness. Lady Victoria was kind enough to allow me to use their songs and I’m very happy she has new fans because of it. I know this topic is a hot button so I’m sure Marty will write about it again. I’ll be sure to pass his link around too. After all, I do love reciprocity!

Before I return to my out of pocket state, I need to post my requisite Marcus. Considering how much Hilly enjoyed the peen last week (if you were still here Hilly, we could go meet Julian in person – he’s in San Diego and invited me to come meet him), I thought about posting the nearly naked Marcus again. You know, the photo of him in wet see through swim trunks. Rawr. But alas, I’ve posted that photo way too much. So instead I bring you a very pretty photo of him hawking his new cologne and one of him doing something bad… smoking. Ugh. (Like I can complain… Rott smokes.)

Hope you have a great Monday in or out of pocket!

Ever get a song stuck in your head that repeats over and over for days and weeks? That would be me right now. It’s a great song but sure as hell does not go with the novel I’m working on, which makes things really difficult for concentration. My word count is down. My stress is up. I played the new Alice in Chains all weekend hoping the song would go bye bye. I’m sitting here typing and found myself unconsciously humming the damn song again! I even made a video with it, thinking I’d get tired of it like I usually do with any song I make a video with. No dice. Still playing.

Anyone have any creative ideas for kicking INXS’s Afterglow from my head? Post em. I need all the help I can get after weeks of the damned thing playing over and over.

I had an offer to go see Alice Cooper on my birthday, but much as I like Alice, I turned it down. I’ve got some promo stuff to do that day and as I get older, I kinda just like having the day to do nothing. No responsibilities. No work (it’s a Saturday for once.) Just laying around doing nothing and feeling my years. Might not happen. I might still get jacked to see Alice. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m thinking I need a wet Marcus this morning. Not sure why but the notion of him wet and wonderful from a shower appeals to me today. This is an old photo, one of a classic set of jeans ads.  One of my faves despite the fact that I like his newer stuff better. I guess I’m getting older and not as interested in hot young things anymore. The hot older things appeal finally.

My left shoulder is being a bitch today. Musta slept wrong so I’ma cut this short and go suck down some Tylenols. Before I go, make sure you check back here later in the week. I have some contest news to post and some info about an award I’ve been nominated for!

Have a great Monday!

I was gonna do a Tuesday tune cause I had a song in my head all day that day. Of course, I was in a groove and wrote 6K so I didn’t have time to come over here and babble and post the song. Then yesterday I was busy posting hotties at Flirty Author Bitches. (They were pretty hot too, male, female, F/F, and M/M.) Today, on a Yahoo group, the wife of a friend posted a link to an article about him in their local paper. Well, to be honest, she’s my friend too, but I don’t talk to her like I talk to him. He and I shoot the shit about the oddest crap… databases and tech stuff… Geek-Speak.

At any rate, I wanted to share Garr with you. Cause I love him. And I love you. And you’ll love this song he wrote about his son. This music is hot. So is Garr. But don’t tell his wife I said that.

See the Sun – Garr

Have a great Friday Eve!