What You Wish For

Author: Winter  |  Category: Personal crapola, Tuesday tune, music, relationships, sadness

Today, I have a Tuesday Tune and then I’m gonna get all personal on you.

When people ask me what my favorite Christmas song is, I usually offer up the old carols. The songs I sang in accapella choir. The Boar’s Head Carol, the Coventry Carol, the Holly & the Ivy, Carol of the Bells… you know the stuff. The very old non-commercial stuff. I could tell you all about the Coventry Carol and Lady Godiva and some other stuff, but MEH. No one cares anymore. Everyone likes modern music. Madonna doing Santa Baby. That Mariah Carey song. Aaron Neville.

Don’t get me wrong. I like some of ‘em too. Bing Crosby and David Bowie doing the Little Drummer Boy. But the truth of the matter is that in some ways I am a child of the 80’s still. The band that rose to such huge prominence and to this day retains as much respect for their politics as their music holds a place in my heart with their Christmas song.

Last year, I cried for hours. I just wanted Rott. I was so lonely without him. I was worried about him too up in the Sierras in the cold. I wanted things to be like they used to be. Of course, stupid me was thinking back several years instead of just one or two years. Our first Christmas together in Huntington Beach.  The year we were homeless and he brought a tree to the motel on Christmas Eve. I missed just holding him and having him hold me. Last year felt so much like my first Christmas without my parents that I got a little drunk. Couldn’t take the pain.

This year he’s home and all the joy and love that I thought would be there isn’t. It’s been replaced by wariness, caution, fear, trust issues, and a host of the most painful emotions I’ve ever experienced. I’m beset with loss and the man is right there. Things may not be hopeless but at the moment my limboland is painful and painfully barren. I’m not alone like last year, but the loss of so many of my hopes has left me feeling raw and even more lonely than I was last year.

I laughed at myself a few days ago about getting what you wish for. All I could wish for last year was to have him home with me where I knew he was safe and where I could show him that I loved him. This year… I know he’s safe at least. And when he smiles, I can see it. And I know that all this churning emotion at least tells me that I am still alive inside this shell.

And even if we can’t yet cross the chasm between us, and may never be able to, I have those places I can go to in my heart where I can still feel the heat of those memories we made together.  In my mind, Christmas will always be about that night we struggled to decorate a tree that filled a little room and how we laid together in the dark, holding hands, listening to midnight mass on the TV as the lights blinked on that dried out tree.

Sometimes, the best Christmas’s are the ones in your heart.

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Ave

Author: Winter  |  Category: Holiday stuffs, Talk Shoe Radio, Throbbing vampire cock, Tuesday tune, friends, music, pimping

It’s a Tuesday Tune for the holidays. I love Soundgarden so this has been one of my fave Christmas songs ever since I first heard it.

Last night was a special Jester Show featuring Dave2 of Blogography. They talked about a lot of interesting stuff from iPhone apps and politics to touching up supermodels and cruise ships.  Iron-Fist (Vahid) called in as did Snackiepoo (Hilly) and me. My very short convo with them at the end of the show was about Throbbing Vampire Cock, my favorite Davetoon of all time.

If you didn’t get a chance to listen in to the show live, check out the podcast above. Fans of Ride the Lightning will get to hear the real Vahid and Dave speak! Yes, they both sound incredibly sexy as does Jester who has the best laugh in the world.  Jester Shows are never to be missed. They are so much fun!

Have a great Tuesday!

wintersig

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Dave Does TVC

Author: Winter  |  Category: Tuesday tune, friends, pimping

I feel all speshul when I get an email from Dave2. It’s even better when I arrive at his blog and discover that I’ve been the inspiration for a cock that sucks you. (You gotta love that line.) I was all kinds of amused and delighted. I love Dave’s toons and this one totally made me laugh out loud. Usually, I don’t laugh at cock. Too busy describing it, I guess. Or trying to get some.

So, seriously people, you gotta read Dave’s blog post. For one, it describes the origin of TVC. For another, you get to see a TVC. It’s not only an amusing story, it’s a look into Dave’s head and how he comes up with a great toon. Who doesn’t wanna know what’s behind the genius?

After you read Dave’s post, you have to see the actual cartoon. TVC is a bad guy. You have to find out if he wins the day or not. What happens to the TVC will make you grin. Who doesn’t want to grin on a Tuesday? So run over here to read the full TVC toon.

I’m off to work in a minute and later I have to work on TPC (throbbing phoenix cock) so I’m gonna leave you with a Tuesday Tune. I haven’t done one in for-effing-evah. Here’s some Motley Crue to start the day!

Have a great Tuesday!

wintersig

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My Bitch Mary

Author: Winter  |  Category: Tuesday tune, friends, giraffes, music

My bitch Mary, along with a lot of other bloggers with kids, is happy that school is starting. Poor Mary has been dealing with a lot of stuff, but she still manages to come by here and make a comment guaranteed to make me smile or laugh. I appreciate Mary, although you wouldn’t know it since my laggy ass hasn’t mailed her birthday present or her Marcus prize.

Still, I loves her a bunch, so today’s Tuesday Tune is for her. A little Saving Jane…

Mary by Saving Jane

And a little cartoon…

Hope I made you and Mary smile! Have a great Tuesday!

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We’ve Got Big Balls

Author: Winter  |  Category: Tuesday tune, music

I’m not sure exactly how I ended up playing this for Motley last night. I think it might have had something to do with Dummy who is not fixed, but I’m not sure. All I really remember is that Motley hadn’t heard this song before. Well, she had, but she didn’t remember it. I mean, Rott’s played all the AC/DC albums repeatedly so she must have heard it at some point.

However, last night she was lying on my bed, on the phone with a friend, laughing her ass off at this:

May your Tuesday be filled with all the best kind of balls!

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Fry Daddy!

Author: Winter  |  Category: Tuesday tune, blogging, pimping

So yesterday I was grilled. Today, I have fired up the FryDaddy since I’m a little tired of BBQ.

My sizzling victim is Kevin of Always Home & Uncool. Kevin’s blog says that he is a work at home, Gen X dad who is rockin’ the ‘burbs. The cast of characters on his blog include My Love (his wife the executive), Thing 1 (his Hannah Montana wanna be daughter) and Thing 2 (his sweet and sour son), and Murphy’s Happy Recap (his faithful canine companion). Okay, I stole the words from his profile , but really, Kevin tells his story much better than I could.

I dug into his archives a little to prepare for the questions. I didn’t have to dig far to recognize that Kevin is not your average suburban dad. He’s just really not average at all. The man is sharp as a tack and more amusing than a lot of the humor bloggers out there.

As some people *cough* Nicholas *cough* know, I’m not a fan of fluffy blogs and blog posts. Some of the stay at home dad blogs I’ve seen are just as fluffy as the mommy bloggers who squee over Oprah and Rachael Ray. I cringed when I drew Kevin in the lotto that is Neil’s Great Interview Experiment. My cringing was for naught as you will see.

Without further BS on my part, here’s the interview, with my comments below each of Kevin’s responses.

1. Why did you decide to name your kids (on your blog) after characters from Dr. Seuss?

I’ve read “The Cat and the Hat” a few zillions times to my kids over the years and it just stuck in my head. They are at the age when playing and having fun are all that matter, and that’s a good place to be in life.

BTW, I’ve called them many other things in real life. But in the end, Fric and Frac was too easy; Harold and Maude, too weird.

Hmmn. I used to call Motley the PITA. Too easy and too weird in one fell swoop. Too bad it was also very true at times. HEH.

2. Do you think it’s hard to be a “Daddy Blogger” in a “Mommy Blogger” world?

I don’t like compartmentalizing us into Dads or Moms. We’re all parents. We have a common enemy. Unite, Servants to the Sippy Kid Crowd!

But honestly, it’s like being an ice cube in a sea of hot tea. I mean, how can I compete with the raw sexuality and rawer language offered up by the Oprah-fueled masses?

I’d never realized that the sippy cup crowd cursed and had raw sexuality. If that’s the case why didn’t they rip Karl’s clothes off of him this year at BlogHer? Maybe the raw sexuality is same sex in nature… after all, sex with another woman is a dangerous thing in a stay at home mom world, isn’t it? (Don’t shoot me for the cliche!)

3. C’mon… you can tell us… is My Love really the main bread winner in your family, or are you secretly the inventor of the Samurai Shark (or some other item that Billy Mays hawks on the tube)?

My father co-wrote the lyrics to “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around the Ole Oak Tree.” I live comfortably off the royalties. Tip of the hat to both Bush administrations!

Ahhh. Gotta love a man who can bash two Bushes with one shot!

4. Why do the new friends to your blog only have nachos and mozzarella sticks to choose from? Shouldn’t there be a nutritious choice like zucchini sticks?

If you insist, I can nuke some spinach nuggets in a pinch. You like Cheez Whiz on yours?

Meh. I’ll pass on spinach nuggets and Cheez Whiz. I’m more of a hot wing kinda girl.

5. This is a twofer: What made you start blogging and how did you decide to become a humor blogger? (Don’t say it’s cause you think Diesel is funny either. That’s a cop out answer, even if it’s true that he is funny. Heh heh.)

My credit card was canceled because of delinquent charges for too many, um, online services, so I needed to find something else to get my creative juices flowing between freelance gigs. I did corporate communications for a very conservative Fortune 500 company for almost 10 years, so I needed a lot of practice to relearn how to write something besides “ours is a culture of continuous improvement and, by managing talent effectively and exceeding the expectations we set for our customers, we can increase EBITA by adding value for our stakeholders through cause marketing that redirects discretionary spending as we bounce along the bottom of this down cycle.”

I became a humor blogger because I have no real insight or wisdom to provide anyone on anything in particular. Kinda like Dr. Phil.

I work in Accounting. I know EBITA and EBITDA. (Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization) I like a man who can work that into a sentence.

6. What’s your favorite beer and why?

What is this – “Sophie’s Choice”? It all depends on the situation, the place, my mood, the company, etc. For sheer beer pleasure, Young’s Double Chocolate Stout is incredible. It’s a beer. It’s a dessert. It’s a floor wax. For everyday quaffing, I like to pick up the Saranac Trail Mix 12-pack so I can choose one to suit the situation. Yuengling makes a great beach beer. Most of the Red Hook beers — ESB, Pale Ale, IPA — are excellent. Sam Adams’ products are uniformly fine, except for the bizarre cranberry beer they push at the holidays. They briefly made a Hazelnut Brown Ale in the late ’90s that I thought was really special. God … I’m welling with nostalgia …

I’m sitting here stacking up Kevin’s choices against Rott’s Beer Fridge... Two thumbs up on the Young’s Stout. Red Hook ESB isn’t bad. Rott agrees with the Sam pronouncement… and wonders why Kevin hasn’t tried Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale, which only comes out in the winter?

7. If Thing 1, Thing 2 and My Love all went on a trip somewhere for 5 days, leaving you alone to take a solo mini-vacay, where would you go and what would you do?

Depends on the time of the year. Spring, I’d go to Florida and do the spring training baseball circuit. Summer, I’d take a tour of Major League Baseball stadiums. Autumn — me and the dog would go hiking the New England hills. Wintertime … I’d fly to London and visit all the pubs serving Real Ale that I could.

Not being a fan of baseball or hiking, I applaud the booze hound in Kevin and concur that a trip to London to drink ale would be awesome!

8. What mainstream movie do find incredibly arousing?

“The Princess Diaries 2.” Anne Hathaway’s eyebrows send tingles to all the good parts.

I like her boobs better.

9. What’s your favorite music/songs to play during sex or a romantic evening?

“(I Wanna Be Your) Alpha Male” by Steve Burns to send the proper signals (it’s all in the “boom-shucka-lucka). “Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)” by The Offspring for the bump ‘n’ grind. “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult for the cuddling afterward. Also, you can never go wrong with the entire “Liquored Up & Lacquered Down” CD by Southern Culture on the Skids.

Anyone who likes BOC and the Offspring is A-OK by me!

10. I like to retell my dreams on my blog if they are either especially vivid or about other bloggers. Tell me your most interesting blog-related fantasy, daydream or real dream/nightmare.

People read my blog then promptly subscribe to me and unsubscribe to dooce because, while I am not a Wii-distributing pioneer, I am far more interesting and relevant to their lives.

Why do I feel like Kevin has read Avitable’s blog?

And there you have it. Kevin of Always Home and Uncool. Because this is Tuesday, and in honor of Kevin, I’m closing with a tune I’m sure you all will enjoy. In my case, it brings back memories of KNAC.com and one of the chat roomies named Kyuss who used to monitor bang to this song. Also, I think this was recorded when Ron Welty was with the band. My readers may recall me saying that I met him at my company’s Christmas party last year. Here it is… the Offspring!

Pretty Fly For a White Guy

Now, go check out Kevin’s blog and have a happy ale drinking, Offspring monitor banging Tuesday!

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RottNRoll

Author: Winter  |  Category: Tuesday tune, events and gatherings, friends, music

One of Rott’s favorite bands of all time is Judas Priest. I know Priest, but not nearly as well as Rott does. He does a great impersonation of Rob Halford, knows all the songs, all the lyrics, every freaking note… I’m old and my memory doesn’t work as well as it used to. I shove a lot of stuff out to make room for more current stuff. I don’t listen to Priest so much anymore, so of course I barely remember how some of the songs go.

You’re wanting to know where I’m going with this, aren’t you? I have a point… oh, yes I do.

Well, my kid has always wanted a Nintendo, PS, Wii… some kind of gaming console. She has for YEARS. Have I given in and purchased one? Ever? NO FREAKING WAY. Her experience with things like Guitar Hero are at other people’s houses. While she was gone for two weeks at her friend’s house last month, she played Rock Band a lot. So she’s pretty good at it. Which was totally a saving grace when we went to Hilly’s only to be faced with Rock Band.

Motley was excited. I was dismayed. I suck at games. I’ve been playing the horse sim game for years, and I still suck at it. As you can guess, they got me to play Rock Band… a little. I was just lost with the game, but apparently I was the only one who knew any of Judas Priest’s You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’. I mangled it, mostly because I just don’t remember all of it. Oh, and Jester and UMB made me laugh a lot so I couldn’t sing. Laughing is forgivable. Just sucking… well, not so much. Heh.

Anyway, the Tuesday Tune is Judas Priest, cause yanno… YOU might have to sing it when you’re playing Rock Band and you wouldn’t wanna fuck up without the excuse of Jester making you laugh, now would you?

Judas Priest

Have a RottNRoll Priest loving Tuesday!

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