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Still working on set ups here. My puter is not ready yet. I have to reload everything. The thing that is freaking my shit out is that I can’t find my Photoshop CD. I’m really frightened that I won’t find it. I haven’t seen it since September. I can’t live without Photoshop. I’m gonna lose it if I’ve lost it. Really.

So I have a non-stop headache just thinking about what I lost: all the email in my inbox and save boxes, all my bookmarks… not files thank goodness. In September, when I had a meltdown of my old machine, I promised myself I would get Mozy and back up stuff online. Once I built the Green Machine, I kept putting off the Mozy thing. Well, I got Mozy today. A few days too late to save my bookmarks and email, but next time I’ll be better prepared.

Also, I bought a better mobo this time. We use Asus boards at work a lot. I feel more comfortable with this board for all it gave me fits in the install. I know they don’t go out very often. And out of this mess I now have a 160 GB hard drive for Motley and a Sempron 3400+ if I can bend the pins back up from where they got squished in the corner. I’ll take my time with that little project. All I need now is a motherboard and some memory. I already have a nice black and silver tower for her.

I’m not sure why I’m planning to build her a puter. She still hasn’t come home.

I’m tired now. As soon as my Porsche Cayman screensaver installs, I’m gonna have a bottle of water and hit the hay. If you like the Cayman, get the screensaver from Porsche’s website. I love it. And actually, the Cayman is the first Porsche I’ve ever liked. Always been a bit of a Ferrari girl myself going back to the days when Nikki Lauda drove for them…

I digress. Must be time for bed. I WILL catch up on blogs. I promise. I love you all too much to skip you.

Not feeling the Sunday Silence thing today. Translated: I don’t have a photo. Junior wouldn’t hold still when we were playing stick up so everything was blurry. I figured it must be a good time to give you some more bits of the 100 Things. Since there are 32 items there now, I’ll give you 8 to bring me to 40. After this, I’ll try to stick to 10 items at a time.

33. I don’t like to watch TV shows. You know, regular stuff that’s on every week. I just can’t get into it. I tend to watch CNN, TVG, and the Weather Channel with some occasional History Channel, Military Channel, Discovery, and National Geographic thrown in. I also watch ESPN and Fuse on occasion. No regular drama or comedy shows.

34. When it comes to reading, I go in cycles. Sometimes I read and read and read. Other times, I don’t pick up a book for months. I read romances and paranormals mostly, and sometimes biographies. I really love the whole vampire genre. It’s my favorite thing to read now.

35. Thanks to my friend Jen and a contest at Zanctuary, I have every one of JR Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood books signed by the author. One even has a Happy Birthday message in it to me from the Warden. They are really among my prized possessions now.

36. I got to see non-military owned photos of the B2 Stealth bomber before anyone else. My daughter’s adopted Dad got the opportunity to go to Whiteman AFB in Missouri to be the first civilian allowed to take air to air photos of the B2. He flew in an F16 to shoot the B2. It was a really big thing for him, a really important assignment. However, when he finally got the word that it was go, he already had a trip to Florida to see his Grandma scheduled. So he did the gig at Whiteman, got home to CA, took his film to the lab in Hollywood, and literally got on a plane the next morning to FL. He had me pick up his film at A&I lab because he was worried about the shots. The sun wasn’t very cooperative that day. So there I was standing in the lab, loupe in my eye, looking at the images on the light table while the phone was up to my ear, telling him that the images were fantastic. And they were. He made the cover of Aviation Week with those photos. And that was how I got to see the first air to air photos of the B2 before anyone else.

37. When it comes to music, I’m a metal head. I like loud stuff. That’s my first preference always. However, I do listen to lots of other stuff. Sometimes it’s all about how well crafted the song is. So, even though Metallica is my preference, I can still appreciate one of those new Backstreet Boys songs. They don’t sound like the same old boy band they used to. The songs on this latest CD are well crafted, and they don’t overdo it on the harmony thing. Defo not a boy band sound anymore. Still, James Hetfield rules! (Yeah, I like that pissy little Lars too!)

38. One of the things that has saddened me most in life is that when I got asthma, it really messed with my singing voice. I’d been an avid singer before that. I’d gone to Lyceum summer camp in Carmel, which is audition only. The camp was taught by the principles from the Carmel Bach Festival. I was so proud that I was chosen to go out of all the teens in the state who auditioned for this. Years later, when I was diagnosed, I was really upset. Especially when the coughing and bouts of pneumonia started and my voice just got more ragged and wrecked.

39. I love background noise from the TV. I almost always have TVG on in the background no matter what I’m doing. Even if I’m listening to music, the TV is on, just with the sound down.

40. The computer that I use now was built in September 2007. I built it myself in a weekend. I’d been a little freaked out to do it since I hadn’t actually built one on my own for more than 10 years. I mean, I’ve had more than one computer in that time, but building them was Rott’s thing so I let him. When I was forced to do it myself again, I was scared I couldn’t do it. I took it easy though and did it in stages. I didn’t let it freak me out and eventually on Sunday afternoon, BAM! everything worked.

Have a great Sunday!

When I write I sometimes have to have mood music. At the Bar, we often punctuate posts with a song that the writer feels conveys or enhances the mood of the post. Since it’s such a sunny, happy day and I’m such a dark and depressed person, (it’s not just me, I swear! Neko is moping too because Motley is gone) I’m going to give you some of the songs from the Bar that convey happy moments either already posted or yet to come. They are what I call my Sun Songs. You can put them on, put the top down, and drive fast in the sun…

1. Count On My Love - Liz Phair

This is an Alaric and Alexandria song. It’s used after they’re married. Alexandria realizes that for the first time in her life, she has a man she can count on and a love that won’t ever end. After all of the horror she’s been through, this moment in her life is like a ray of sunshine and the sun isn’t ever going to set as long as she has Alaric. For Alaric, after having lost one bloodmate, and being given another one that he just wasn’t interested in sexually, he finally has a mate who is his equal, who understands his dark past and is just as grateful to have him as he is to have her.

2. 8th World Wonder - Kimberly Locke

Nyx and Valerian had a pretty rocky road to happiness and the bumps in their road aren’t finished yet. However, the whole first half of their story is about the two of them trying to accept that they belong together. Nyx is The McClaren, a reknowned spy and hacker. She’s used to being alone and is very resistant to the signs that Val is her mate. Valerian is emotionally damaged. Suffering from PTSS, he almost decapitates his youngest brother, thinking he was the enemy. In horror and anguish, Val trashes his suite down to the studs with his bare hands and then disappears. He ends up in a secret squadron of dragons called the Silver Shadows and spends his time smuggling kids out of the black sept. (Rather like smuggling people out of the Eastern Bloc during the Cold War.) The two of them are so used to being alone that when they finally come to accept that they belong together, it’s a huge moment fraught with tears and happiness and some really funny quips.

3. Only the Young - Journey

I used this in a post where Rhiannon reflects back on the last year of her life, where she finally came of age as a dragon (was able to change into her dragon form from human form) and met her mate Tobias. It was a year that included a huge threat to her life and that of her family, a separation from her family, and falling in love and being mated. For one of the youngest characters, she’s had a very rough year. As she’s crying over some of the mistakes she’s made, Tobias comforts her and lets her know that he supports her and loves her always. Then his brother Helios gives her a proxy to take his seat on the silver sept’s council, a very great honor. Afterward, Tobias asks Rhi to marry him. She says yes, but not now because they’re too young. So they decide that eventually, when the time is right, they will get married. For now, they are just beginning their lives together.

4. Real Life Fairytale - Plumb

Jen chose this song for the post where my character Matt finally asks her character Emmy to marry him. They are behind the veil, in the land of the fae, at Matt’s castle. They’re in the sun filled garden, dressed like characters in a fairytale, and little lights like fireflies are flickering all around them. The lights are Matt’s people, the pixies, who are delighted to have him come home with a mate. After everything Matt and Em have been through, from the time Matt is dumped by Carlisle and Emmy is dumped by Alaric, to all their run ins with the evil Daggon, this moment is shining and perfect for both of them.

5. Beautiful - Trading Yesterday

Bram meets Jensen and is instantly attracted to her. After centuries of being alone, he’s finally found a woman who excites him on every level. They go out a few times and Bram starts to realize she is IT. She’s everything he ever wanted and never thought he would have. I’m going to use this song in the post where he’s just made love to her for the first time, and he’s realizing that he’s got it bad for her. He starts thinking that after all the shit he’s gone through in his life, drug addiction, losing his band and his income and his self respect, maybe a happy ever after is in the cards for him after all. All because of this one woman.

6. Everything’s Right - Matt Wertz

Griffin’s having a tough time of things with his new family and his bloodmate, who just happens to have another mate as well. This song is earmarked for Griffin’s first real physical intimacy with his bloodmate Dante. It’s a moment that means a lot to him because of all the tension in his new family. For once, in all his weeks of upset and tension, everything seems to go right for him as he makes love to Dante for the first time.

7. Trees - Marty Casey & Lovehammers

Bianca and Spyder have gotten back together after being kept apart by lying relatives and circumstances that conspired against them. After giving Spyder a scare (he thought she might be dead) Bianca tells him she loves him. A very shaky Spyder says the same. He tells her he doesn’t care what caused the rift between them, he knows that they belong together. Bianca, who is a wildling, feels a return of her powers as Spyder makes love to her, and the plants in the room begin to grow from the force of her power and their happiness.

8. Something ‘Bout Heaven - Billy Gilman

Dai is the greatest soldier of the black sept. He’s been away from home for a long time. While helping his wyvern regain the sept, he meets a woman named Kyara. Kya is one of the Silver Shadows, part of Valerian’s unit and former girlfriend to Valerian’s brother Helios. When she meets Dai she instantly puts her foot in her mouth. Eventually, on the eve of the battle to regain the black sept, the two get together. They’ve acknowledged their love for each other. They’ve been living together, but so far, they haven’t mated. Dai wants to wait until he goes home to take up his new job with the black sept. When they arrive in Wales and settle in, he finally mates and marks Kyara. When this post happens, this will be the song that accompanies it.

9. Good Times - Tommy Lee

This song was one of the songs in Dominic’s Orphaned Dragon Benefit concert at Club Insolent. It was supposedly one of Dominic’s songs, written about his friends, and about how life gets filled with crap, but it’s okay to set that all aside and enjoy yourself. Dominic’s role in the story thus far has been as a mentor and a savior. He’s the thousand year old vampire with a history no one is quite sure of except that he and his brother Blake were once Knights Templar and that they have “Holy Swords”, imbued with a power that kills anyone and anything that has evil in it’s soul or intent. Dominic hasn’t had a hero role in the story yet, but his day is coming. His mate is a woman with a dark past who thinks she has no future. Rather like Dom himself. She’s also the sister of the woman he always thought was his bloodmate. It’s a twist of fate when the two discover the truth.

10. Glorious - Natalie Imbruglia

This last song is a really bubbly pop song, but it just gets me. Not sure why. I have this song earmarked for when my character Tarren and Jen’s character Helios finally mate. Tarren’s been begging for awhile, but Helios is adamant that he doesn’t want to do it unless the timing is right. He thinks it should be a joyous time, not something driven by fear or anger. This song is meant to be played after they have mated and marked each other. Helios’ mark on Tarren will be a sun, rather like the Bulgari sun. I haven’t figured out yet what Tarren’s mark on Helios will be. In my mind’s eye, I see Tarren standing on the top deck of the yacht, spinning around in the sun to this song, her joy in life and in Helios completely unbound.

Here’s one extra song that isn’t quite a sun song, but it does have a positive message for all of us who have been a little achy lately. At the Bar, this song is for Ainsley whose life has always been dark. Once freed from her father’s legacy, she finds herself, her mate, and love… just like the song says.

One Day You Will - Lady Antebellum

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there’s a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won’t be much longer
You’ll find love, you’ll find peace
And the you you’re meant to be
I know right now that’s not the way you feel
But one day you will

Hope you enjoyed the Saturday Sun Songs!

I’m sad. And a little depressed. I want to be happy like this again. Maybe in a year…

Miss you, Rott. Happy 42nd Birthday.

On the flip side… we has babies… with open eyes.

I was tagged despite the presence of Grundir in my sidebar. Metalmom is so not afraid of Grundir. She has teens. So, quickly, here are 6 factoids about me, and then some Humpday Hotness for you all. (I have to hurry because I have horses to enter at DerbyFever.com!)

1. I have a problem with Walgreens. When I go in there, I spend $30 on candy. I never buy candy anywhere else. Just Walgreens. I cannot resist their candy aisle.

2. I named some new horses at DerbyFever.com after bloggers or blogs: The User Pool, Fattitude, Blogger, Kyra Sutra, and The Aburdist. Don’t worry. I have more horses to breed so I’ll get around to everyone’s name eventually. I will have trouble with Fab’s name though because there is a Fabman aka Mr. Fabulous in the game. He and Fab share a real first name too. Weird huh?

3. I own a Nagel. You know, Patrick Nagel the artist? Probably most widely known for his cover of Duran Duran’s Rio album. I actually own what is called Texas. It’s a signature in screen serigraph of the Rio picture. It cost me about $750 back in the 80’s. It was hard to find too. I probably couldn’t even sell it now.

4. I love peppermint bark and I always buy some when they put it out at Christmas. This past year, I went into the stores so little, I forgot to buy peppermint bark! Wahhhhh!

5. I love Hoops and YoYo at Hallmark.com. They make me laugh with their goofiness.

6. I love Black Forest Cake and Tiramisu more than chocolate pudding.

Here’s the hotness that is Victor Webster. The odd thing about Vic is that I like him hairy much better than without.

For you men and closet lesbians, I give you Anne Hathaway boobage.

Happy Humpday to all!

It seems funny that on the first day of this new domain name that I would be silent. However, I am. In a moment. First I want to direct you all to Jester’s post about this day of silence. The world would truly be a dark place if he wasn’t here to answer our emails, IMs, and tweets. And I’m not just saying that because he did such an awesome job on this new house. I’m saying it because anyone with an infectious laugh like his should not ever have it silenced by an act of hate. I’m sure Lawrence had an infectious laugh too. It’s gut wrenching to think that all his laughter was silenced, and that he had the joy sucked out of him by those who hate.

So don’t look for me on Twitter today. I won’t be by to comment on your blogs until Saturday. I can’t totally shut down life and give up the phone, talking, email, or IM because I do have work to do. (Yes, I WORK on IM. It’s how I communicate with the other Bar writers.)

Have a truly wonderful day, and remember how much hate hurts. Be thankful for your friends.

I’m a little burned out this Friday. Way too much shit coming down in different areas of my life. I seriously need to use up some of those vacation hours that I keep stockpiling. So, in the freakshow that is my life, I first give you a story about my kid and a penis. Oh, wait. Heh. Here’s the real intro:

I’m guest blogging at Bluepaintred! (I’m not w00ting out of deference to Karl, who says w00t is not a word. Of course, it’s not, Karl. It’s a sound. Like MEH.)

Next, I have for you the Slogan thing that Dave did. Mine, in keeping with the theme of my life, was… freaky.

Your Slogan Should Be

Winter; What You’d Eat if You Lived on Mars

Next up is something I cannot even articulate. It pisses me off and raises my blood pressure. I’m sure you will find this amusing. I look at it and want to strangle my teenager.

Another thing in the freakshow of my life is that my damned back still hurts. In fact, I’m starting to feel like my left hip is out of whack. Then I remember falling out of the shower onto that hip about 4 years ago. I have a keloid on the hip now from that fall. But it really feels out of whack. Oh, and the doctor I loved so much… came back to work after having a baby and dismissed me. ME! I have no doctor now. My asthma and I feel like crying. I mean, her name was American. She spoke English without an accent. She had a surfboard on the wall of her office. I feel abandoned.

I’m depressed. I want to spend money I don’t have. And everyone’s blog made me smile tonight. Except Jason X’s. I actually laughed at his. Okay, maybe I chuckled at Diesel’s soda badger. But nothing has made me really really laugh since Fab posted the mummy with the caption I Can Has Moisturizer? And even freakier than that, this is my favorite LOL:

Last night, I gave Jester 3/4’s of my hotties. What was I thinking? Now, we’ll be posting the same guys! Okay, I saved some good ones for myself. After all, I love them more than he does. I think. Shit. I think I got the pics off some gay guy’s site. So maybe Jester does love hotties more than me. All gay men seem to have the best hotties on their sites. But do they have… Ian Somerhalder? I think not! HA!

And speaking of hotties, Hilly’s car just might get supplanted in my heart. Turnbaby’s car is THUD. Oh, how I love the smell of octane in the morning… Injected engines full throttle on a long stretch of open highway. Just not the one where James Dean died. I’ve seen the weird ass monument to him out there in the middle of nothing. It’s a piece of silver metal wrapped around a tree. It’s insulting if you think about how he died.

Freaky might be my life at the moment, but if you haven’t seen Matt’s Pope hat, check it out. He was way hotter than Benny and I spent more time on his site this morning than I did watching Benny’s mass. And if the Pope hat is too reverent for you, best go look at Hellohahanarf’s first Half Nekkid Thursday. I have never seen a woman so happy to hold her feet in the air when the camera was rolling. I know it’s not her most recent blog post, but shit. All of her posts are worth reading and this one is worth ogling. Heh.

I think there was something else I was gonna talk about in this freakshow that is my life, but I can’t remember what it is. So you will just have to live with this fucked up post. How bad can it be anyway? It doesn’t have a fake naked Hermione or Harry Potter’s real foreskin. No one but Avitable could post that anyway. I don’t eat or drink when I visit his site. I’d go broke replacing monitors if I did. Wait. I already am broke.

Now, that I’ve pimped and ass kissed my way through a freakshow of a Friday post, here’s a song for you since I didn’t have one this past Tuesday. I wonder if you will get the irony of it… Oh, and BTW, if I didn’t pimp you out today, remind me that I owe you a toe licking or something if we ever meet.

Okay, I’m outta here. I’m going to bed with Anderson Cooper. Hopefully, I’ll get to sleep before Lou Dobbs comes on. He’s not nearly as good a bed partner as Anderson. Happy Freakshow Friday peoples!