Sunlight Sucks

Smart Girls

Winter — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:43:37 +0000

Yes, Motley and I are now Smart Girls. I bought us both smart phones tonight. I stalked eBay the past two nights pricing phones. I checked with T-Mobile to see how much new ones would cost. I just want more functionality. Something I didn’t think I wanted last November when I got the Samsung Stripe and re-upped with T-Mobile. Yeah, well since November I found blogging and Twitter and Flickr. Needs change. My tiny little Samsung sucks. I bought a new Dash.

As for Motley, she has a fairly new Razr. We re-upped her not that long ago too. She dropped her phone in the sink. HARD. Now it doesn’t function very well. There are a few places I don’t take my phone for this very reason. Kitchen. Fire. Water. Bad for my phone. Bathroom. Water. Toilet. Even more bad for my phone. So my phone doesn’t go to either of those places. Apparently, Motley thought the phone was permanently attached to her hand because she texts, IMs, and twats on it so much. Then she went in the kitchen and found out that wasn’t true. Surprise, surprise. So, being the good mom that I am *rolls eyes*, I got her a used BlackBerry 8700G.

Now, don’t you wish I was your mom?

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Vacation Not

Winter — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:13:20 +0000

I have a month’s worth of vacation stored up. I’m using 2 days this week though. However, after 9 years at my company, I still feel the need for that stockpile of vacation hours. I don’t think I’m gonna get fired, even on my most frustrated days. Yet, I still need the security blanket those hours provide. So, no vacation for me.

This weekend will feel like a vacation for me. Four whole days that I don’t have to go to the office. Four whole days where I can maybe spend a little money. Four days where I will get to spend some time with people I enjoy. Maybe that’s the big draw to these 2 days that I took off. I can relax and look forward to meeting people who make me laugh, make me cry, and make me feel alive. If not for these people, I would spend those 4 days in my house, at my computer, writing. Not going out. Not seeing people. Not laughing or having fun.

I’m getting old. I need more fun. I need to feel that my life wasn’t spent worrying and stressing and being miserable. These four days will be a ray of sunshine in the bleakness I usually inhabit. I’m soooo looking forward to it. So maybe it’s not a vacation. Somehow, in my heart, it still feels like one.

If you get a chance, stop by my bitch Mary’s blog to say Happy Birthday. She has some facts on there related to the day she was born. I like the Led Zeppelin fact. Only Mary would be born on a day John Bonham was arrested for getting in a fight. HEH. Hope you have a great day, Mare!

Oh, and just because UMB said he liked me for being a dirty girl… Happy Dirty Girl love to you all! MUAH!

I’m Full

Winter — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:16:08 +0000

The IRS rebate check hit my mailbox today. My return had my old PO box on it so I mailed them a change of address. Did they manage to get the correct address on my check? NO. Bastards. Did they send the check to my old PO Box? NO. Bitches. Whoever got my change of address transposed the numbers when entering it into their system. Morons. Grrr.

Since I was flush, I ordered a white pizza. And boneless hot wings. The wings were a little warm so I drank a few bottles of water with dinner. I’m full now. Thanks Dubya.

No Roses

Winter — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 05:47:42 +0000

It seems like a day doesn’t go by that something doesn’t happen to make me fear my mortality. I’m sure one of the reasons I write about immortals is that I’m quite afraid of dying. Today, I got to work and discovered my co-worker’s husband had died in his sleep on Saturday. This is the second of my co-workers to lose a husband. It’s shocking. And heartbreaking.

With my mortality feeling very fresh and raw, I managed to get through the day. However, while others might feel that making sure someone has their “power of blog” is part of making arrangements, I know that’s not at all at the top of my list. I worry about Motley. I mean, the kid is already struggling. If something happens to me, she has no one. No parents. No grandparents. No family. I’m horribly afraid of what will happen to her if something happens to me.

I can’t even leave her much. 15K in an insurance policy from my work. That’s it. I own my car and some household appliances. Motley wouldn’t be able to stay in the condo we live in. She couldn’t pay for it, even if she had a roommate. This situation totally freaks me out.

I told her not to spend anything on me. If I’m still working for the cemetery, they will pay for everything except things like a burial permit, death certificates, and an alternative container to cremate me in. The only thing I wanted her to spend on was a nice urn that doubles as a jewelry box to keep me in. It should cost very little of the 15K to dispose of me. And I want it that way. She will need that money.

Fear drives a lot of the things I do. When I yell at her to clean up and stuff, I’m not just being pissy because there’s trash to go out and dust and dirt. As an asthmatic who can’t afford her meds because the co-pays are too much, my life often feels very fragile, especially when dirt and dust affect my breathing. All it would take is a virus or a bad asthma attack and Motley would be an orphan. And that totally scares me. Not for me so much, but for her.

Over the weekend, ShinyBitch went to CrueFest. She discovered Papa Roach. Rott and I have been fans for awhile, since the first CD. For my Tuesday Tune, I thought I’d play some Papa Roach. Since my theme today has been a sad one, I chose Roses On My Grave. I’m not going to be buried so there is no need for roses for me.

Papa Roach-Roses On My Grave

Go hug the people who matter to you today. You never know what you may wake up to. Or who may be gone when you open your eyes.