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Motley’s birthday is today. She is nineteen. If you go to her blog, you can see her boobs. Happy birthday, baby!

Since it’s Friday and I haven’t pimped anything in a long time, I decided I would pimp my friend Jen because she’s cool, and her rack is hot, and she’s single. So welcome to Big Pimpin’ Friday, Indiana style!

My friend Jen writes at the Bar. That’s where I met her. She’s a pretty cool lady. Very smart. Great with a snarky comeback. She lives and works in the Indianapolis area. She has a nice job, owns her own home, and has a dog… a boxer, not some pansy ass dog. There are things about Jen that no man can pass on, unless he’s gay. I mean, really, who can remain blase in the face of cheerleaders like these?

Yeah, she’s stacked pretty good. But the best part isn’t the fact that she’s got a rack that will render you mindless with lust. She’s very amusing. She makes me laugh all the time which means she ain’t boring. I, personally, do not feel that the creator of Alaric Kohl could ever be boring. However, Jen has what, to me, is a flaw. You men will not think this is a flaw. You will think she is a goddess. She likes basketball. *cringe*

Now, I played basketball in junior high and high school, but I never liked watching it. I was always more of a horse racing, auto racing, football kind of girl. Jen went to the Big Ten Tournament. On purpose. She took with her, a male friend of mine from the horse racing sim who is a Wisconsin fan. She spent four whole days living basketball, with only a short time out on Friday for her grandma’s funeral. She even turned on Sports Center when she got home! Now, that is a dedicated b-ball fan, my friends.

So now that you know that she’s into basketball, has a great rack, is smarter than a whip and can wield one on your ass with skill if that is what you like, you’re wondering what the catch is right? I think the catch is that she’s single. Men are afraid of single successful women these days. But I just don’t understand that. Someone needs to help me out here.

This woman has gone on a number of dates since I’ve known her. Men just fade away on her. They peter out and drift off like snowflakes in a high wind. Tell me what the hell this woman is missing? I mean, Hello! I don’t see anything wrong with this picture. If she sent you a pic like one of those up there, I know damn good and well, that you bloggers would have been twatting your fingers off about getting a boob shot. Wouldn’t you?

So, fill my comments with some luv, people. I wanna know why you think single, successful women with big boobs can’t find decent men. Are they all gay? Are they all chickenshit? Do they all want skinny, underfed, designer clothes wearing, air headed, calender girls? What is going on in the world today that a cute woman with a rack can’t find a relationship except with her vibrator?

Jen’s gonna kill me for pimpin’ her, but you know what? If someone can educate me regarding her - and other successful women in their 30’s - lack of male attention, then it will be worth it. Oh, and… *whispers in an aside* if you wanna talk to Jen, send me a twat or an email or YIM. I’ll set you up with her YIM. HEH. I’m just evil, aren’t I? But trust me on this, Jen sizzles. She is soooo not a prude! Okay, I better shut up now before I give her enough fuel to roast me with if she finds out I posted this. Shhhh. Don’t tell on me. She doesn’t read this blog.

Oh, yeah. She gives good presents too!

Now that my pimpin’ is done, I’m outtie. Have a great Friday, people! MUAH!

Happy belated birthday to Jason X from the User Pool. Remind me to give you a link to my private naked Kelly Monaco slideshow! If you readers don’t know Jason, you need to check him out. His blog is very funny. The satire is incomparable! I shoulda known he was a Taurus…

Speaking of birthdays, Friday is Motley’s birthday. She has a fistful of Knotts Berry Farm tickets and no ride. Apparently, Motley’s bestie went to the doctor today. He told her she has anxiety and gave her drugs. Now she can’t go to Knotts for fear of getting too excited. Hmmph. There’s one kid who won’t be having sex anytime soon. Everyone stop by Socially Dead on Friday and help make Motley feel better about being 19 and not having a ride to Knotts. Hmmmn. Maybe Jason needs a day off from the User Pool and could go…

Alright, here’s something you can all sink your fangs into this Wednesday. Bite it, taste it, hump it until it’s wet and limp! THAT is Keeley Hazell. I wonder if I coulda gotten away with showing her boobage. Aw fuckit. Go here to see her tits.

If boobage ain’t your thang, I give you Nacho Figueras. Polo star extraordinaire. The face of Polo Black cologne. And now, the face of Mr. Fabulous, a darkly mysterious character in the Bar Story.

Mr. Fabulous has already had his entrance in the story, but it was fleeting. He comes to the Library, where the Blood Mistress reigns over the annals of the vampire world, and basically has her bowing and scraping and kicking out the other people in the Library. They get a glimpse of him and that’s it. The Blood Mistress’s first post features this mysterious Fabulous. He’s devious. He’s powerful. He’s handsome. He probably has a big dick too. Why else would he be so arrogant? Hee hee. His storyline is still in the works so there could be some major twists and turns ahead.

Before I sign off today, I want to talk hardcore with you. Yes. My 100th post is very close. And yes. I have noticed something about the comments on the 90+ posts thus far. One, you people like sex. If I post sex stuff from the Bar, you are all here slathering over it and drooling in the comments. Two, you people like freaky. If I post about cemetery stuff you are all fascinated in that rubber necking at a gruesome accident where a motorcyclist was decapitated on the freeway way. Lots of comments on the sex and the cemetery. Oooh. Now, that’s a catchy title!

I don’t know that you like hotness. You don’t comment on Wednesday hotness. So what’s wrong with this picture? You like sex. You like the cemetery. You don’t like the half naked celebs? I bet Dave didn’t even notice when I had Liz Hurley naked on here. I don’t think anyone did. Not that her tatas were hanging out anyway. It woulda been a MUCH better Humpday with naked Liz tits. Although, come to think of it, I do have naked Liz tits… Liz Phair. Maybe I will post those next week.

So what is it that you like? Sex? Freaky stuff? Freaky sex maybe? I’ll have to work on that last one. Not sure how to work it into this blog theme. If you like freaky sex you shoulda read my Pink Chair Diaries post. It was a little freaky and a lot hot. I’m not asking for comments. I’m just trying to get a handle on what you all like so I can accommodate you in the next 100 posts. After all, we can’t all be fucking Fabulous… although you know you want to.

See yas manana for a Half Nekkid Thursday and maybe even a Thursday Thirteen too!

Goo Goo Face

Winter Formal

Halloween

Happy Mother’s Day!