Before you read this, you might want to read Jester, Britt, and my post from yesterday including the comments. What’s written below pertains to all of these posts.
After yesterday’s soul baring post about my writing and self esteem, I have something that seems, on the surface, to go along with it nicely. I took this damned color test thingy because Jester did. I wondered if the color thing explained why Jester had been annoyed recently. Maybe it explains why I’ve been so moody lately. That would certainly be the answer for someone who believes in karma and fate and all that stuff....
6 Aug
*sigh* My self esteem has taken a hit in the solar plexus. Lucky for me, I’m used to gasping for air. However, it’s left my mindset that of the poor kid staring in the window of FAO Schwarz at Christmas. Or Ebeneezer Scrooge looking in the window at the happiness of Bob Cratchit’s family despite their lack of money. So I’m a little disconnected, a little lost today. You’ll have to forgive me my moodiness.
One night ShinyBitch told me she needed a poem for her character Sascha. Sascha was going to write a poem to her mate. Shiny was looking for poetry on the internet....
5 Aug
I have a whole two things to talk about today. First, as some of you know, asthmatic me couldn’t go to Cruefest because it’s at Blockbuster in Glen Helen. GH is way too dusty and hot for an asthmatic. I can handle Verizon, formerly Irvine Meadows, and any indoor venue, but the outdoor ones that are excruciatingly hot and dusty, I have to pass on. So I’ve been moping about not being able to go. It would have felt wrong to go without Rott too.
At any rate, I’d been resigned to hearing about Cruefest from ShinyBitch and Marty. Then last night Motley mentions a live feed of...
2 Aug
So I was looking for a piece of erotica that I wrote about something that happened twenty-ish years ago. It was a story about me and a black leather jacket clad guy named Paul. My first thought was that I would post it here and heat up your Sunday. Then I read it. I haven’t read it since last year, when I submitted it to the 2007 Zanctuary writing contest.
Anyway, when I found the piece, I highlighted it to copy it… and then I started reading. It was a little hard to stop once I’d started. And then I started remembering. Oh, yeah. Then I realized it’s a little over the top...
26 Jul
It felt like a long weekend. Probably because I spent so much of it writing. Next weekend will be a true long weekend since I spent some of my much horded vacation hours and took Friday and Monday off. I wasn’t sure if I would need recovery time since it’s Dave Diego next weekend. When it comes to bloggers, I’ve only met Hilly and Karl thus far, so Motley and I are truly excited about this event. Not that Hilly and Karl aren’t the pinnacle of bloggers, but you know what I mean.
I went to Blog Talk Radio yesterday to set a reminder for Turnbaby’s anniversary show,...
21 Jul
Okay, my muse was in a benevolent mood. He didn’t fuck me at all. He kissed me really hard though, and my past came back to haunt me. Fortunately, I think that was what my muse was trying for because I ditched my original idea and let my past, and all the inherent emotions that go with it, seep into my writing.
See, I’d had this idea about meshing together bits of Defending Your Life and the Wizard of Oz into this surreal piece about a woman swept up into a tornado. She meets the Grim Reaper and he does a Defending Your Love Life thing on her because she’s got a thing about “type”....
20 Jul
So my last blog post was hot, wasn’t it? I love it when the words flow from me, and they’re tight and passionate and so perfect for a freaking contest… but I don’t use it for such. My contest entry for the Zanctuary writing contest is dragging. It’s actually not flowing which makes it rough going aka work. I guess that should tell me something, huh?
Then yesterday’s blog post just flowed from my fingers when I was half asleep. The words were all perfect. I couldn’t really find any fault in the way I described it. It happened just like that in my dream,...
18 Jul
I can’t remember the last time I was alone for an indefinite period of time. I mean, Motley’s always been here (excepting camp, trips, Rawhide Ranch, that sort of thing) for 19 years. And Rott’s been here (excepting a night or two at his pal Curt’s and 3 months while he waited to get a Prop 9 I think it’s called) for almost 10 years. Now, I’m not sure when Motley’s coming home. I know she will, just not when. And Rott, well he won’t be home for awhile. I’m really freaking alone. It feels… weird.
Since I’m alone this weekend, I might...
4 Jul
Andrei Andrei has been posting to his blog recently. If you don’t know the story, Andrei is the reason I started blogging. Well, Andrei and this idea his blog gave me for a short story about a woman blogger who falls for a male model because of his blog. I had no clue what blogging was about. I mean, I’ve been out here on the net a long ass time. I’ve had more incarnations of my website than I’ve had hair color. I’ve had message boards for years. Never once did I have the urge to blog.
Frankly, I didn’t really know what the whole blogging thing was about. I figured...
3 Jul
I have too many cookies on my plate. In my world, that translates to too many storylines. Hence the title of this post. Storylines… Cookies… Oreos… you get my drift. I love having things to write. If I don’t have anything to write I would go stir crazy because basically, I am a hermit. I don’t go anywhere. My blog should be Socially Dead, not Motley’s.
Last night, I had a phone call that was a little depressing. Rott called his mom and she called me. She had relayed my message to him that I loved him, and I missed him. He didn’t give her a reply message....
13 Jun
Do you hate it when the alarm wakes you? I mean, that IS it’s job. However, I seriously hate it when the alarm wakes me. I don’t like be startled for one. I like to be already fully awake when it goes off so I can shut it off without fumbling. Well, the past few mornings, my alarm has awakened me. I am so irked! I’m not sure why my body is so tired. At any rate, I think I’ll listen to it and hobble off to bed to watch CNN until Larry King’s croaky-ass voice puts me into the land of Zzzzzzzz. Before I go, let me entertain you by cranking up the heat…
Yeah, I...
27 May
I gotta talk about the Bar today. The reason for this is that I’m looking for inspiration. Or motivation. Not sure which. It’s funny how those two things can become interchangeable. And actually, I think my problem is distraction, not inspiration or motivation. Too many “shun” words for a Saturday morning, I think. My head’s already buzzing and I haven’t even had a glass of water yet.
Distraction is in the form of the lovely pre-paid card that I use on the internet. It’s not attached to my bank accounts so I feel a lot better about using it online. I went...
10 May
